I haven't been on her in a while, been busy and went to facebook, which I was able to find alot of my friends from here there. I was posting today for a reason a very big reason. I can not post anything on facebook that is about my illness, for the fact that my mother is on facebook and is in stage 4 kidney failure. Sure she knows some things but she does not know the big picture. This week I finally got dignosed with sle lupus. the doctor told me on monday. It wasn't that I thought that they would not say that after all I have been through, but just hearing it was rough. I was so mad when the doctor told me, my husband had to work and could not go to the dr with me. I ran out mof the dr office and called him and he left work. He was so upset that he was not there when they told me, but since he is the only one that can work he has been working like crazy cause we have no medical insurance any more and have to pay for all my medical. Which is a big B*tch. I don't understand why I am so mad about all this, last night I got into an argument with my best friend over something dumb. just because I am mad about the hole thing. I feel like I could go beat up someone and when I get through would feel better. I guess everyone deals with it differently.

Anyway on to why I am posting on here.
My parents are both living and are almost 70 years old, my mother has been sick half of my adult life, most just thought that she was crazy, but some was actuaally serious. I have not told my parents that I have been really sick, they know some but not all, I did how ever tell my two grown children that are ages 22 and 21. I felt that they needed to know in case they had some kind of medical issues, which my daughter has had. anyway my mom was dignosed with kidney cancer in 2007 they were able to remove the tumor but she still has kidney disease. In the last few weeks she has been in and out of the hospital and has had severe problems, but now knowing that I actually have lupus and I am the first in the family to get a dignoses, it all makes since to me. It's like the puzzle finally came together, my husband even said that all the years that he has known my mom he thought she had a mental problem but now he sees that she probley had lupus all along. I have been faced all week with weather or not to tell her, I did decide to tell my dad and see what he says, but now that I think about it, my mom could actually be helped with knowing this. I amy change the way she is being treated in the hospital and hep her for a change and maybe people will not think that she is crazy any more.

I have planned a trip tomorrow to go and visit my parents they live about 45 miles away from me, my husband and one of my children are going to be there when I tell them this, I don't know how they will react, they have been hurt so much in life, because in 1998 I had to tell them that there 6 year old grandson passed away. so telling them bad news does not set with me, but at least my husband who is very wonderful will be there to help me.

so what I am asking or looking for tonight is who do you tell your family, and how did they react to this?
Is it wrong to keep things from your parents or other relatives?
do all your friends know you have lupus, only 3 of my friends really know what I am going through, I haven't even let my husband tell his best friend about the seriousnos of my condition and now I am feeling that it is wrong because he may need someone to talk to other than me about this. But I feel that people look at you differently when you tell them, for one they may not understand what truely is going on. I know some of my friends question why I am not out on the weekends the last few weeks, and keep questioning what is going on, but the dr has put me on some rough meds and due to the heat and sun here in south carolina my husband and the dr want let me out much. so what to do?

does anyone have any suggestions that may help me. I am very upset and mad over what has been delt to me this week but I am feeling better about it as the weeekend goes on.

Sorry so long and thanks for reading and posting.

Hope everyone is taking it easy in the very hot weather we keep having.
Lea Ann