I hate this disease, i'm so freaking miserable
I was recently fired from my job because I was having a flare up and missed several days in a row so they had to let me go. Now I'm feeling really awful. My body is hurting every time I make a move. I think I brought this upon myself. Yesterday I agreed to pick my little cousin up from school take my little sister to work and also watch my little niece and nephew until my mom got from work. My day started about 12:30 and ended at 5:15. I was out in the sun for a total of 3 hours going to different stores and just waiting for the school bus. I then started to feel a little tired so I head home to lye down. Oh I also had 8 bags of groceries to carry up to the third floor! I ended up taking 6 and left behind the the heavier items my boyfriend brought them up once he got home. I would have left them all but the heat we would have put it to waste. So I wake up this morning and feel so MISERABLE. I can barely walk. I'm so tired of this disease I wish I can just give it back lol.....i know many of you don't have insurance so what do you all do when times get rough? I go to a clinic but I have to pay out of pocket right then and there. The doctor is nice but not much help. I told him a list of all these new symptoms I was having and said its just your lupus getting worst. He lowered me down to 200mg of plaq and added 5mg of prednisone. I'm taking the plaq but not the pred because I don't know what my side effects might be. What if something goes bad and I need to see a doctor but have no money. I suppose I can go to the ER but they dont seem to know much bout Lupus. I'm developing high blood pressure now and don't know what to do. The doc told me my liver looks like I been drinking pretty much every day ( drank once on the last 8 months)and that I need a CT scan but can't help me cuz I don't have insurance. I feel like something else is going wrong with my organs, all because of how the doc acts toward me. Yes, I'm scared. I feel alone and useless. I feel bad that I can't be with my fam like I use to. My boyfriend understands but we don't have a typical relationship. I feel like I'm holding him back. The other day my mom told me that when I'm around I bring so much joy in everyones day and how proud she is of me. She calls me literally 10 times a day wanting me to come over (LOL TEARS) then I sit here and think.......WHY ME?? Out of all 9 of my brothers and sisters this disease picked me! Then I do some more thinking....im glad it chose me. I don't want them going through this. I'M SORRY ITS SO LONG, I TREND TO LET IT BUILD TIL I BURST.
THANK YOU FOR READING =D
Diagnosed with Lupus July 19, 2011 Lupus nephritis stage 3 and taking 20mg prednisone, IV Retuxan and citoxan once a month.
Vitamin D 50,000uI,1000Mg cellcept,5Mg lisinopril,200Mg labetalol,325 Mg ferrous sulfate