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Thread: My Achy Breaky Heart

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    Thumbs down My Achy Breaky Heart

    My daughter and her husband of 2 weeks left for a year in Germany this morning. I'm trying to be strong and happy for them, but my heart feels like it's been torn in two. Our lives have revolved around her college graduation, moving their stuff to our house, wedding preparations, the wedding itself, getting all the stuff done for their trip and now.... they are gone. They lived with us for a week before the wedding and the two weeks since and I feel like we connected in a way we hadn't in a long time. My younger daughter is so sad - she is so isolated that her sister is her only close friend. I MUST find a job, and feel terrible about leaving her when she is already so down about missing her sister, and missing out on the life she thought SHE would have.

    The last few weeks have been SO joyful that this sadness is horrible in comparison - plus my lupus is more active and I had to go off of Plaquinil because of possible eye toxicity. Thanks for listening to my pity party. I'm afraid it will be 11 months and 3 weeks before it is truly over ;o)

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    Oh Gizmo I am so sorry! I know how busy and happy you have been the last couple of weeks and I also know how you have dreaded this day. I could tell you that she will be back in 12 months, or that y'all will talk/skype/text etc but none of those things will help right now. What I sill say is that you need to let it out. Have a good old heart cleaning cry. Not the one that slips out and you spend the entire cry trying to get control of it. No, you need to find a place that no one will interrupt and just let it go. Cry as long as you want and when you have cried yourself out then you can go back to worrying about everything/anything that you need. You have to take care of yourself or you won't be any good to any good to anyone else.

    Also, remember that we are here for you whenever you need us. I will gladly be a shoulder if you need to cry as well.
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







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    Aww... that is hard, to see the people you love go, after they've filled your house and heart with such happiness and bustle.
    It's wonderful that you had the chance to help her so much with her wedding - giving them a place to stay, planning with them, and helping them through such a chaotic time. I'm sure that they must really appreciate it - and you must be so proud and happy for her.

    It is sad, though, and I agree with Tgal - let yourself process and go through your emotions as you need to. You and your other daughter now can spend more time bonding with eachother, and filling that hole they left as they went away.

    If you ever need to have another pity party, feel free to call me over! I'll bring some brownies, and cheese for your whine (; , and we can hang out and be pitiful together, before picking ourselves back up and acting like goofs, because, lets be honest, talking to us is hilarious, since we mess up our words so much!

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    Thanks Mari and Elo. Sometimes just knowing that someone else understands your pain helps ease it a bit. My chest literally aches - even when I'm not actively thinking about her. It's like my heart remembers, even when my head doesn't. Nothing compared to what others have gone through, but I have extra strength Mama hormones that keep me in maternal overdrive LOL.

    On the bright side, the puppy is wonderful and learning the behaviors we want so quickly. His rowdy sister has been staying with us for 2 weeks, though, and has totally disrupted potty training and my sleep. Talk about mama hormones - I'm sure the neighbors love listening to me cheer for "good poops and potties" at 4:00 AM, through their open windows. It's so exciting, though, because then I get to go back to sleep until 5:30 AM when they wake up starving. They have given us a lot to laugh about and we will miss sister puppy when she goes home Monday. BTW, my daughter's puppy "Sprocket" is the one on the right - a full standard poodle.
    Last edited by Gizmo; 08-06-2011 at 05:10 PM. Reason: New info

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmo View Post
    Thanks Mari and Elo. Sometimes just knowing that someone else understands your pain helps ease it a bit. My chest literally aches - even when I'm not actively thinking about her. It's like my heart remembers, even when my head doesn't. Nothing compared to what others have gone through, but I have extra strength Mama hormones that keep me in maternal overdrive LOL.

    On the bright side, the puppy is wonderful and learning the behaviors we want so quickly. His rowdy sister has been staying with us for 2 weeks, though, and has totally disrupted potty training and my sleep. Talk about mama hormones - I'm sure the neighbors love listening to me cheer for "good poops and potties" at 4:00 AM, through their open windows. It's so exciting, though, because then I get to go back to sleep until 5:30 AM when they wake up starving. They have given us a lot to laugh about and we will miss sister puppy when she goes home Monday. BTW, my daughter's puppy "Sprocket" is the one on the right - a full standard poodle.
    You know that I consider you my friend but I never want to see that comment made again. "Nothing compares to what others have" is complete BS. Our issues may be different but they are real and hard no matter what they are. There is no ladder here that we stand on to see who is the sickest on the forum as if the sickest ones have more right to vent or complain.

    What others have are feelings, illness, emotions and ears to listen. All of those things bring us to an even playing field when we enter this place. Never doubt your value here because we never will

    PS Really HAPPY about the new dog!
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







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    Gizmo (08-06-2011), JuliaL (08-06-2011), nicolehinkel (08-08-2011), steve.b (08-06-2011)

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    Mari, I guess we each have our "heart problems" tonight. I sure wish I could help you with yours. Your daughter is home now, right? Are you feeling well enough to enjoy her? Soak up every moment you can - they go so fast.

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    Gizmo,
    It is hard to see our little ones grow up and start their own lives, but you know you've done something right when they are able to do that.
    Is there any way for you to go visit in Germany? That would be so much fun!

    Anyway, don't worry. The time will pass quickly and kids have a way of coming back and bringing reinforcements. Before you know it, they will be moving back in on you, bringing grandkids and their pets!
    Hugs,
    Marla

    P.S. The pups are adorable. I'm reading Teamwork I and Teamwork II by Stewart Nordensson & Lydia Kelley. They are fantstic books for people with disabilities who want to train their own service dogs!
    Last edited by magistramarla; 08-06-2011 at 07:45 PM.

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    Hi Gizmo, I hear ya. When my daughters each left and struck out on their own it was painful. A few months ago my my daughter moved and my precious granddaughter went too. Oh I cried as I miss her so much. Love can be terribly painful. (((hugs)))

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    Our poor puppy had a seizure today! He got two puppy vaccines yesterday and has been really punky and seems to be in pain. About noon he woke up from a nap yelping and then had a seizure. He supposed to be alerting our daughter before she passes out, so this in not good. The vet didn't find anything wrong, other than he's pretty listless, so we are hoping it is a one-time event. Sigh....

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