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Thread: Dealing with bad times.

  1. #21
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    Ohhh The spoon Theory! We give that out to newbies all the time. It often helps with families and friends. It helps them to understand what we can't say. Thanks so much for posting it!
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







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    It is so hard to say "no" but I am gradually learning it. I am responsible for the care of my parents and my father just died and I am not sure that everyone really understood the tole the stress was taking on my own body. Because you look good, to them, they assume there is nothing wrong with you and they don't have a clue that you feel like war is raging in your body or your so exhausted you could fall over. When I explain to people that I am not feeling well and why I often think they really don't care or think I am whining.

    I will pray for you to find balance in your life. Keep us posted.
    Melanie

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    Thanks Melanie,
    I guess I have that little voice in my head that I've heard for most of my life that I am a hypochondriac and it is harrassing me telling me don't complain, don't talk about it, just shut up and deal with it. Which causes stress which causes me to feel worse. Ugh.

    Thanks for your post and thank you everyone for listening to my negativity today. This is all so knew, as I only went to the doctors yesterday getting my official results and I am in a major whirl wind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolehinkel View Post
    Thanks Melanie,
    I guess I have that little voice in my head that I've heard for most of my life that I am a hypochondriac and it is harrassing me telling me don't complain, don't talk about it, just shut up and deal with it. Which causes stress which causes me to feel worse. Ugh.

    Thanks for your post and thank you everyone for listening to my negativity today. This is all so knew, as I only went to the doctors yesterday getting my official results and I am in a major whirl wind.
    I know this is going to sound silly but I want you to stop here and take 3 deep breathes (I mean it.. 3) . Now I want you to think about all those years and people that made you think that you were crazy for being sick all the time and then think of the diagnoses you received today. That diagnosis makes everything that was said before obsolete. I know it is tempting to get overwhelmed with the diagnosis but if you stop and think about it this is a wonderful thing! No, you don't want to have an AI disease but isn't it great to know what all of those people that made you doubt yourself were wrong! You REALLY were sick and you are not crazy!

    The scary part really was before your diagnosis when no one knew what meds to give you and you just kept getting worse and worse. The name of the disease doesn't change how sick you are. You were that sick before they said "Lupus" but they didn't know what to treat. Now your doctors can find the right meds to help you get out of a flare and into a life that you can enjoy.

    The tough part is over. No need to doubt yourself anymore. You are, and have been, ill. Now you are on the road to getting well!
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tgal For This Useful Post:

    nicolehinkel (08-03-2011), sharpiessave (08-03-2011), sonmak (08-03-2011), steve.b (08-03-2011)

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    Quote Originally Posted by tgal View Post
    I know this is going to sound silly but I want you to stop here and take 3 deep breathes (I mean it.. 3) . .....The tough part is over. No need to doubt yourself anymore. You are, and have been, ill. Now you are on the road to getting well!

    great advice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    It is hard to say no, especially to the ones you love.
    My kids and grandkids live in Texas, I live in NY. My kids call pretty much every day, especially my oldest daughter, who is 33, she can talk for hours, about nothing LOL. On days where I just don't feel good, these phone calls were like a chore. I love my children and felt compelled to talk to them whenever they called, but was mentally and physically exhausted after every call. That is when my husband said, you need to tell them, " not today, I don't feel strong enough". That is when I came up with a solution, when I feel bad and can't talk, I will unplug the home phone, but have my cell phone on for emergencies only. They all excepted this idea and thought it was a good one. If they just want to chat and I don't answer, they know, that mom is not feeling well, but they can still get a hold of me if it is important. Guess what, in two years, none of them have ever called my cell phone, thank God for that.
    Saying no is ok, when you are just to sick to do anything.

    Debbie
    I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).

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    nicolehinkel (08-03-2011)

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