There's a wonderful word in the english language and it is spelled N O no. Practice saying it. The thing is, you have to take care of yourself first. You really don't have a choice. Being sick will not be ignored. It will not take a back seat, it won't accept a raincheck, it won't leave you alone, give you a break or buzz off. It DEMANDS attention. It demands to be the center of your universe. It will fight harder and louder until it gets your full attention. You have to respect it, recognize it, learn to live with and deal with it. You cannot brush it off and take care of others then possibly, maybe deal with it. You deal with it, you take care of it by taking care of yourself and THEN you take care of everyone else. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't have the ability to take care of anyone else. Guilt? It is something you'll eventually get over. You keep telling yourself that I need to take care of myself first. YOU are your best advocate. YOU are the voice. You explain to others what is going on, or not if you chose not to and you take care of yourself. Those who really love and respect you will get it and be fine with it. Those who don't, in my opinion, aren't worth the energy. It isn't easy putting yourself first. I'm not going to tell you it is. For some people it is the hardest thing they'll ever do but it must be done. Self preservation. Taking care of ourselves. I have a friend who tells me that if I can't be good for myself, I'm no good for anyone else. Words to live by. Once that sinks in, the guilt fades away.
"I'm going to get healthy or die trying"