I am FREAKING OUT!

Parts of me... ok well the majority of me... has a firm belief I can work until I drop dead... that while I am still conscious, I am able to participate in the work force.
Unfortunately... or perhaps... fortunately... my boss and probably every boss around disagrees. So my boss suggested I apply for disability, so today, thats what I am doing.

I feel terrible, I feel like I shouldn't be applying for disability... I can still walk and breathe and for now drive. I am going to be so embarrassed walking into that doctors office this morning and putting down papers for her to fill out for my disability support!!

I may have difficulty hearing people, trouble writing, shiver all day long in the office, find it impossible to sit all day long or do the repetitive actions required of my job.... but in my mind, I can still at least try! However, my boss does not want to continue to let me try. And if he wont employ me, who will?

I need lots of fingers crossed back here for me... If I dont get this... we will be so screwed.