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Thread: Mother and daughter experience

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    Default Mother and daughter experience

    Fighting this disease for years....in bad flare...my daughter 22 having tough time since junior year in hs......feel so guilty i gave it to her

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    Do NOT feel guilty! You did NOT give it to her. You gave her love, you gave her presents, you may have given her a hard time now and again but you did NOT give her Lupus. If one had the ability to "give" lupus, I'm sure I speak for the majority of us when I say in that case we'd "give" it away!

    I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this. It certainly isn't any fun. Keep coming back to WHL and have your daughter do so as well. Here you'll find a lot of love and support and a lot of laughs too!
    "I'm going to get healthy or die trying"

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    welcome cward,
    sorry you need to find us.......
    glad you have found us.

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    Hello CWARD,

    It's nice to have you with us at WHL and your with the most understanding people possible.

    Sorry to hear how you feel and especially about your daughter but have specialist's in general said that your daughter's as been inherited off yourself?.... if it as been this is a risk taken in life especially if you want children, the same goes for epilepsey and certain illnesses and Diseases, some children are lucky some are'nt but what ruziska (Rita) as said and stated as said it all in a large way with the love you've given while she's been growing up.

    It's going to be nice getting to know you and there's so many threads besides to venture through because whatever we have concerning Lupus sometimes extra symptoms can be given off but you'll get all the love and support you need from we all.

    ((Hugs to you)) Terry xxx

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    I don't see this as a "risk you take if you want to have kids" with this disease because most of us don't even know we have it when we become pregnant. I personally believe that laying the blame on the parent is guilt that none of us need or deserve.

    Cward, you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. You did nothing wrong and don't let anyone make you feel that you did. My daughter is being watched right now because of some things that MAY be the beginnings of Lupus and I know how hard that hurts my soul. It is bad enough to have to deal with this when it is your body falling apart but to watch your child is 1000 times worse. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I am sorry that you had to join but I am so very happy that you did.

    Please make yourself at home. Feel free to look through the old threads or make new ones if you wish. I look forward to getting to know you

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    Cward,
    Welcome to WHL. This seems to be a very common thing - we find that we have AI diseases, and then our kids turn up with them.
    As everyone else has said, there is no reason for you to feel guilty. Like so many others, I had my babies when I was young and healthy and had no idea that I was going to be diagnosed with AI diseases. I knew that my mother's family had "arthritis problems", but it didn't occur to my young mind that it could be something else, and besides, young people don't worry about "old age" diseases.
    I wouldn't trade my five wonderful kids and three even more wonderful grandkids for anything. Three of my girls do have some AI symptoms, but I don't feel guilty about it - I'm just very hopeful that medical researchers will find some cures before my girls reach my age!
    I hope that both you and your daughter become members of our WHL family.
    Hugs,
    Marla

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    I was diagnosed with Lupus in 1985 and then my daughter was diagnosed (in approx 1992) with Lupus. One thing that our doctors were adamant about was the fact that we both understand that I DID NOT give this disease to my daughter! Lupus has not been found to be hereditary (there are some indications that it is genetic - but not hereditary). Please, please do not put this guilt upon yourself.
    Please know that we are here for both you and your daughter and we want to do all that we can to help you both. I am glad that you are here

    Peace and Blessings
    Namaste
    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saysusie View Post
    I was diagnosed with Lupus in 1985 and then my daughter was diagnosed (in approx 1992) with Lupus. One thing that our doctors were adamant about was the fact that we both understand that I DID NOT give this disease to my daughter! Lupus has not been found to be hereditary (there are some indications that it is genetic - but not hereditary). Please, please do not put this guilt upon yourself.
    Please know that we are here for both you and your daughter and we want to do all that we can to help you both. I am glad that you are here

    Peace and Blessings
    Namaste
    Saysusie
    Thank you for this post. I was in a hurry to get to the cancer hospital because a young friend was having his bone marrow transplant and I thought of all the things that I should have said after I logged off and the majority of them were in this post. Thank you for covering it much better then I did.

    There are enough issues for us to deal with for ANYONE to take on the guilt of passing it on to our children. Too many things must come together in just the right way to get an AI disease and genetics is only a tiny part

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    Welcome to WHL (: I'm sorry that you had to find the site..but i'm glad that you did. It's an absolutely wonderful community, especially when you need a friendly ear to talk to.
    You need to stop feeling guilty my dear. You didn't give your daughter any disease, so stop thinking like that!
    I'm thankful that she has a mother who knows what she's going through, so she can connect and have a real support system. It's so hard when people don't understand what you're going through or think that you're actually sick, so her having you will be a big help during her hard times.

    Welcome again, feel free to vent anytime (:
    -Elo

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    Thank you sorry i work in a hospital failry bright having a hard time navigating this site....im a very positive person.....my aunt died of luous complications my daughter kidneys lungs.....started junior year hs..she is now 22 withdrew from college 2x tons of hospitilizations..heart cathertizations kidney biopsies...another flare this week kidneys acting up...friends that disapear....im in a two year flare..central nervous system eyes...brain issues.....get irritated at people that complain about stuoide stuff trying to get my balance back....life is good people are good hate seeing her suffer......so.....whats your story......

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