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Thread: How do you manage your physical pain?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sharpiessave View Post
    Tammy, I'm so sorry you're hurtin' so bad. Distraction is definitely one way to go. For me it comes in the form of Netflix and Sharpies. I tend to spend a whole lot of time these days watching Lost and coloring. Sharpies really do save. . .

    I've been avoiding talking about the pain aspect of this whole thing for so long because, well. . .because I'm ashamed of it. Sort of. And I'm also really defensive about it. It's complicated. Narcotics. That's how I deal with the pain. Vicodin. And boy, do I struggle with it.

    When I worked in the ER we had so many frequent fliers and seekers. They knew which doctors would give them their drug of choice, and what those docs drove. They would scour the parking lot for their favorite doc's car, and come on in for their fix when they saw it. I should also mention that I worked there at a time when most nurses and docs were completely ignorant about fibromyalgia. I remember once asking a nurse what it was. She said, "It's a diagnosis for people who want drugs all the time." Idiot.

    So my shame in taking narcotics is two-fold. I feel like such a jerk for judging people who were in real pain, because I know what that feels like now. And I feel like wuss for thinking that I need the vicodin. I have valid reasons to be on it, and I remind myself of that often, which just makes me feel like I'm justifying an addiction. I don't think it's an addiction yet, but it's definitely a dependancy. I have an extra vertabrae, and a buldging disk in my lower back, and all this pain that comes with The Mess, and something still unknown going on with the middle of my back. I have my very qualified Rheumy telling me to take 600mg of ibuprofen 3 times a day, along with the maximum dose of vicodin. But all of that still doesn't lessen the shame of using narcotics.

    I think I'll feel guilty about it until the day I can stop taking them. I can't pick up my niece without taking vicodin, but I also wonder if I should be holding a baby while I'm on vicodin. I definitely can't take it when I'm at work, so I can only work maybe once a week, because of the flare the pain of a day without it sends me into. Lots of me wishes I had never started taking it. And lots of me knows that for right now, at least, I'd be absolutely useless without it. And lots of me thinks that if you guys can get through this AI business without narcotics, I should be able to too.

    Man, I just spilled my guts all over the internet. Sorry internet; I'm probably high.
    The first step to healing is voicing the words. You can now move on to a place of healing. We have all made judgements that we now know were not correct. Each of us do the best we can do and nothing more. Do not let guilt be another way that Lupus takes over your life. The guilt, like stress, can send us into a flare so very fast. Negative influences can wipe out all of the positive things we have worked for.

    You are a lovely person who, like the rest of us, have been dealt a bad hand. You do what you have to do and know that we will always be here for you. Good times or bad you are one of our family now. Thanks for being so opened and never doubt that you are loved

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tgal For This Useful Post:

    lovedbyHim (07-10-2011), sharpiessave (07-10-2011), steve.b (07-11-2011)

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