Was I losing my mind?
April 15, 1995 I woke up, stood up and it felt like someone hit me across the knees with a baseball bat. The pain was intense. Within 2 weeks it had moved down to my left ankle, left foot toes and on to my right foot. I went to the Dr who diagnosed rheumatoid arthritis. In the quest to be informed I discover that RA is symmetrical therefore if a joint on one side hurts, wait a week or 2 and the other one will as well. That's exactly what happened to me.
Fast forward 16 years, I see a new rheumatologist after having dealt with the "RA" on my onw, shunning conventional western medicine as the symptoms have gotten worse and out of my scope of being able to deal with them on my own only to discover that I do NOT have RA. I have lupus. Well alrighty then, that explains quite a bit BUT leads me to wonder if I manifested the symmetrical pain in my head because I was told I had RA and that's what RA does. Was it real pain or was in manufactured in my head?
The last visit with my rheumy, I asked him what I should be looking out for. He refused to answer me on the grounds that he didn't want me manifesting the symptoms. I understand his position, but it makes me feel like he possibly thinks I'm a bit cuckoo. I'm not looking for symptoms, I'm not wanting to add to the list of lupus issues, I'd rather get rid of most (ok, let's be selfish here, ALL of them). HOWEVER, it would be nice if he'd let me know if there is anything in particular I should be aware of that could be potentially serious so if those symptoms appear, I don't just blow them off.
So back to the original musing: was the symmetrical pain really there or was it mind manufactured in accordance with RA symptom criteria? I've taken a break from trying to solve the world's problems to figure that one out.
"I'm going to get healthy or die trying"