Today I have been feeling very off, this happens occasionally but now its getting bad. Today the boss told me I am not allowed to take anymore days off. So not only am I not on fulltime and have terrible pay for what I have to do... but I am not allowed to have the perk that was the only reason I had the job for in the first place! Being able to take a day off when I needed it.
I had a teary on the way home.
What worried me most about this is that I clearly can not work in this job at the level he wants me to. Not because I am incapable of working at all, but because he is A COMPLETE IDIOT and his mere presence is stressful. He is a tanty throwing child in a 150kg+ mans body.
We cant live on one income : ( I fear I am going to lose my job.
But recently, even the very smallest amount of stress is causing me issues. I have been powering through stress for so long and ignoring its affects and now even tiny amounts of stress are causing excessive symptoms.
You know that feeling of being in shock? Before I got 'sick' I only experienced it twice... the first time was the last time I lived with my parents as a teenager and my father attacked me and left me bruised and broken. My sisters and mother stopped him before he could choke my air supply off completely but I went into shock... I couldnt function properly and was confused and felt like I would pass out.
That happened when I had my PE as well and resulted in me collapsing etc.
Now I get this feeling many times throughout the day. Like the blood has drained from my body, I feel cold, confused. Sometimes I think I am somewhere else, or someone else, or that something is happening that isnt. I cant be involved in what is actually going on around me. My heart sometimes races, or has palpitations.
Today I have this yawning feeling in my pharynx, which isnt unusual by itself... except right now it is so bad it hurts, I can not swallow and there is crackling/popping in my ears every one to five seconds.
Anyone have any advice? Cause really, this is just scaring the hell out of me.
Hello giggle. I am on my way to work and read you msg. I will need to make this short for now. Please email me and we can discuss those symptoms. They are words I have heard many times after someone is abused. Recent experience with a volatile boss can trigger the symptoms. I can give you my advice if you would like, on this topic. My first is, look for a different job, with a female boss if possible. Try to stay in the present. See doc about symptoms. I can give you some things to look up. E mail me okay. Gotta rush. Must get on the road. (((hugs))
i have previously suffered from a mental breakdown. the stress i was under became too much for me to bear.
is it possible that this is where you are heading?
if it is, please seek medical advice.
your boss might not understand, but your doctor and centrelink will.
sickness benifits do not replace a full time income, but the rest may be what you need.
contact me by personal message, if you feel you want to talk about this.
I am sorry mate your in this situation and he's definitely someone who does'nt understand, well call them here UP STARTS
With what's happened to you giggle it sounds like you get a certain feeling with men and it kicks all these affects off, i actually understand where your coming from as i've been abused not by my family but otherwise and i get feelings about certain men which can put you in this state and i had councilling and help which did'nt help me much.
Get intouch mate if you want to chat because these are symptoms which can live with you and i'm saying this as i have different feeling's and i've never said none of this before, only my hubby knows and he's the only man i trust.
((Love you loads mate)) xxxxxxxxx
Last edited by Peridot20_Gem; 06-09-2011 at 08:05 AM.
did he say this because you are out of personal days or because he just has an issue with you taking days/the number of days you've taken? If you have personal time accrued and you have made him aware of your medical situation, I think this would be a form of medical harassment. If you have an HR person at your job or if not but your boss has a higher up, you might want to confer with them to see what the situation is and whether, legally, he can even say what he said to you.
As long as this body works, I am going to enjoy life to the fullest for each second of every moment that I can.
Hey everyone I am about to go to work but will reply after work this arv... just wanted to quickly reply to SandyR...
I am on a casual wage, not even classified as full time regardless having worked there 7 months basically as full time. Legislation was passed a few years ago here in Australia that basically allows bosses to make up what ever the hell conditions they like, as long as the employee signs off on it. I didn't realise this was happening as I was presented with no documentation to that effect... just a piece of paper that said I agree to work under their terms... with no terms included.
So this means... I work 9-3 every day, I dont get paid for any breaks, I dont accrue sick leave or holiday pay. When I am off work, I dont get paid. I am classed as a clerk... so I only get $20 an hour. Yet I do the job of a receptionist, a sales person and an accountant. My partner works at the same place where he is a sales person... it even says so on his business card provided by the employer... but he is on the same pay as me and classified as a 'clerk'. Recently I have been having one day off a month on the days my partner takes his RDO... its nice to catch up on rest in this time and its been keeping me powering through. He told me I am not allowed to do that anymore, I have to be there on days my partner isnt and we better start bringing in more work or he will have to start laying people off.
Our rent alone is $300. As far as centrelink is concerns, my partners $700 before tax is enough to eliminate any parenting payment I might get... wouldnt it also eliminate disability payments?? And if I quit, we wont get that loan which we need to move to Brisbane so my daughter and I can get specialist care.
Far out Im late for work... and depressed now LOL Ciao guys will reply later <3 thanks for being here for me!
$700.00 a week before tax, does not eliminate centrelink payments.
sickness benifits and disability benifits are both means tested. but the cut off is much higher.
I ran the estimate that centrelink has on its website.
Currently my partner and I both working bring home a combined take home pay of $2320.
If I went on disability now, I would get $300 a fortnight with my partners pay considered (only because I also get a moderate payment from family tax for my daughter, otherwise the payment would only be $120 total). Thats $1620 take home pay combined.
I ran the estimate excluding my partner and I would get $1150 a fortnight. Thats almost what my partner earns.. infact it is less than a couple hundred off his take home pay (1320 per fn). Technically they are punishing those that work! It is impossible to live on my partners pay alone! Half is eaten up by the rent.
With the price of petrol, lunches and work clothes and having to rent in a place close enough to work and therefore more expensive... if I was to go onto a pension we would be better off if my partner also worked less. Or not at all. : /
No... Im afraid I am stuck working until it kills me. : ( especially if I want to get enough money for my daughters eye surgery.
Loved... you may be right... but it just doesnt seem... I dont know. I can't control it. My understanding... and I may be wrong... is that if it was some kind of mental breakdown, I would be able to use relaxation techniques to control it. Or even that a thought would cross my mind that would initiate the reaction. But nothing of the sort happens.
One second I am sitting at my desk, the next seemingly without provocation, I feel like I am about to pass out, I get clammy, feel like I am about to vommit, feel like I am in a tunnel, thought process just slows to nothing. What I have left to think with I concentrate so hard on making it stop. Thinking "c'mon c'mon c'mon no ones going to have any sympathy if you pass out here you will just lose your job, keep going."
Im not going to want to hear that I need to relax... because I have most certainly tried that. And eliminating stress is not an option, work is stressful, I need to work to get money and if I dont having no money will be stressful. My partner wont tolerate me not working, thats the reason he got me this job. Not that I like the idea of never working again.
I wish I just had some spare cash to do this dog training course I wanted to do... it was in the cards until my boss forced me to start working full time or be replaced entirely. I was orgininally going to be working part time, studying the rest of the time. Once qualified I could work the hours I choose.
: / I will send you guys PMs... Im interested in hearing your take.