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Thread: WHAT TO SAY?????

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    Default WHAT TO SAY?????

    WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN PEOPLE ASK, HOW ARE YOU ? SHOULD YOU LIE AND SAY, FINE THANK YOU OR BORE THEM WITH THE TRUTH? MY LINE IS...PRETTY GOOD FOR A GRANDMOTHER. WHAT DO YOU ALL SAY????????

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    Hi Cafrin :lol:
    My responses generally depend upon who is asking me? If it is a friend who is dear to me and who knows everything about me, my illness, my medications etc. Then, I know that they are asking because they truly want to know and they truly care:
    I tell them the whole ugly truth! These friends see me when I'm up, down, depressed, deathly ill, relatively healthy, etc. etc. - so there is no need to candy coat anything with them or to lie to them. Many of my closest and dearest friends are also suffering from some type of chronic illness, so we support one another!

    If it is a friend who I just spend some time with and enjoy their company occassionally, but they know that I have this disease, I generally say something like:
    "Things have been going fairly well and I feel pretty good today. Thank you so much for asking"
    I give that response because if things were going badly and if I felt bad, that particular friend would not see me. So, the fact that I am with them means that I am feeling pretty good and things are going well. I do not explain my disease to them unless they ask me a specific question. There are some things that I let them know from the onset, like - I can't be in the sun too long, I tire easily and quickly so I won't be participating in this that or the other, I am very careful about what and where I eat and I am sensitive to a lot of harsh lighting. They are generally very understanding and accommodating. If they do not know that I have Lupus, I immediately tell them that the above restrictions are due to the fact that I have Lupus. I do not elaborate nor do I invite questions. I quickly move on once I've made the statement and made them aware of my limitations. I do it lightheartedly and always with a smile and/or a laugh because I do not want to make them feel uncomfortable or uneasy.

    If it is a friend or family member who I know really doesn't care or who really doesn't want to know, I generally say:
    "I'm doing well enough, thank you, and how are you?"

    For strangers or those who are just acquaintences who may or may not know that I have this disease, I just give the universal reply:
    "I am fine, thank you. And how are you?"

    I hope that his has helped you

    :lol:
    Saysusie

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    Cafrin,

    I agree with saysusie, It just depends on the person, and your relationship to them. I have a small group of friends and family members that I can luckily tell them the honest truth, but others I tend to give the blank, things are fine... It can be very hard letting people in on your situation, but I feel we all need to be able to vent, cry, laugh about it on the good and bad days.

    good luck,

    Golfgirl

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    Just tell them "Great...can you believe I'm 150!" That's how I know alot of us feel some days but I feel it's better to joke about it than to get caught up in the pain and frustration.
    Catlady4520

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    :lol: While I tend to use a response similar to Saysusie's, I LOVE the idea of

    "Great! Can you believe I'm 150?" 8)

    My dad used to respond "Terrible, same as always." And just keep going. Usually took people a moment to realize he didn't say "Fine, how are you?" I'll do that now and again with a good friend - one who knows that I'm my father's daugter.....

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    My father-in-law (85) replies with, "On top of the grass!"

    I generally use, "I'm hanging in there."

    I have way too much crap wrong with me to really get into it even with friends or family.

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    ARIEL
    I LOVE THAT "ON TOP OF THE GRASS", ASK YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW IF I CAN USE IT..OR IS HE CHARGING ROYALTIES FOR IT????? ANOTHER FAVOURITE OF MINE IS "I'M NOT TAKING A DIRT NAP".
    BEST WISHES CAFRIN

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    :lol: I love some of these options!

    "I'm not taking a dirt nap!" :lol: I'm adding it to my repitoire!

    (unless the royalty fees are too high..... 8) )

    hugs, everyone!

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    I guess i'm a glutten for punishment, I tell it all to who ever asks. But this is also a great gauge too. If I start to get that "dear in the head light" look from someone, I know they really aren't that interested and i will not waste my energy at a later date. I guess I like to know who I'm talking too you know? And I'm also a believer of not asking someone how they are doing if you truly do not want to know. but that's just me.
    dx'd 1984 SLE w/ Raynauds
    dx'd 2005 Lupus nephritis type IV
    docs= PCP, Rheumatologist, Nephrologist and Opthomologist

    some days you're the bug, somedays your're the windshield

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    Anymore, unless it's my best friends or my mom, I just say "Still standing"
    "All sounds are potentially dangerous.
    All sounds are potentially medicinal.
    All sounds are beautiful." ~Yoko Ono

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