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Thread: You are faking your illness

  1. #1
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    Question You are faking your illness

    This is only my second post and I did a search for a question like this but my brain isn't functioning right so I can't find anything I want. My introduction and how I am feeling are in my very first post.


    Back to my original thought: The title of the post says it all. Has anyone ever told you that? There is a woman at work who is bent on telling everyone that will listen that I am not really sick; I am faking my illness to get out of working so many hours at work. This aggravates me to no end and even after I've confronted her she still keeps saying it.

    I only wish I was faking this wretched disease. I wouldn't wish it on anyone including her. Although, I wish I could transfer my feelings to her for a day just so she could experience it and see what it really feels like. Nothing fake about it.


    If anyone would care to share their stories and how they handled the situation...I'd appreciate it. I'm feeling pretty alone lately.

    Glibby
    Last edited by Glibby; 05-18-2011 at 11:19 PM.

  2. #2
    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    Hi,

    I've had people tell me I was faking it before. One was some know-it-all at a family get together. I basically threatened to punch the jerk-I don't recommend this approach for obvious reasons! Besides that one, at one point my father started in on me with the whole faking it thing. I told him if he wanted to no longer have a son, to just keep it up. I threatened to shut him out of my life. I would no longer have any contact with him-ever. Fortunately, his reasons for saying this were rooted in denial, and a fear of his only son being sick, rather than an attempt to just be mean. He got past that, and now he's one the most supportive people in my life.

    As far as your situation, you are being harassed on the job. There are laws against this, and your company should also have policies prohibiting harassment as well. I would go to management and tell them you want this person stopped immediately. This person is calling you a liar, and nobody should have to put up with that in any situation. I would also document the harassment, in case management won't help you, you might want to take some sort of legal action.

    And if none of this helps, just let me know and I'll have my cousin Guido from Jersey send her a dead fish! (insert sarcastic smiley face)

    Rob

    PS-I know from your other post that you are having a tough time right know. Please know that you can come here and vent, or just talk, anytime you like. There are literally hundreds of people here who have been in your shoes, and understand what you are going through.
    Last edited by rob; 05-18-2011 at 02:11 AM.

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    I havent been diagnosed but am waiting to see a specialist. I have told everyone at work what I might have wrong with me and why I may behave in certain ways/get tired etc. Today it was very obvious I was unwell and people were amazed at how quickly my appearance changes.

    So far noone has been nasty but they have known me years and i fully expect some nasty comments by new people or even my family once they find out.

    I am wondering once I get a diagnosis if dealing with people gets easier, but judging by what I am reading, perhaps not which is sad.

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    I've been diagnosed fully on what i've got besides other ailments of 25yrs and i've not been told i'm faking it, oh no quite the opposite i
    'LOOK HEALTHY' well either my glasses need double glazing when looking in the mirror or those do who look at me, my skins a total mess and disgrace and for 42 walking about hunched and cramped in my body besides using AIDS to help me get about.

    Glibby try not to take it in because theres so many ignorant people walking and i would'nt wish this on my worst enemey but when i have them say i look healthy i think like yourself, you need to have it to know what it's all about.

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    i am sorry you are going through this.

    some people have no idea the hurt they pass on to others.

    i agree with rob, it is work related, so your bosses have to help.
    i was a manager, and know that they are obligated to do something.

    no need to go in all guns blazing, just have a quiet word to your supervisor, or there supervisor if need be.

    stress makes lupus flare. stress makes fatigue come on quicker. stress makes you sick.
    you should be protected from this type of stress, ask for the help you are entitled to.

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    I wouldn't worry about her, she sounds like an inconsiderate jerk, and people like that, why bother with? She probably isn't wanting to do her job herself and in turn is trying to say you don't. Anywhere you work you will get conflict with other people, it's just a fact of life. If it's that bad, have your doctor write a letter stating that you have Lupus and why, and frame it up at your work place, or kick her hindend, lol..

    Yes I've had it happen to me. I would think who hasn't. Alot of people don't understand being chronically sick. They only understand short term illnesses or one's that are obvious by looking at you.

    My kids have been most resentful toward me. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and mild lupus but after a negative ANA from plaquenil, no to Lupus. My kids came to the understanding that my doctor cannot do anything to help me feel better, I went through depression years after I got sick, and they have always looked at me like it's all in my head. Their comments: your a faker, it's all in your head, you make yourself think your sick, you don't try, your a worthless peice of crap, your life is meaningless, all you want to do is lay around in bed, pill popper, your stupid and your biggest accomplishment was working in a grocery store. Neil Armstrong climbed mount everest after defeating cancer, what are you waiting on?

    My daughter's dad is awesome with aggitating this. He says fibromyalgia is a diagnosis for people who have nothing wrong with them. Said my blood results were incorrect on my ANA, that I couldn't have Lupus or anything like so because I would be more or less in a state of dying, and I wasn't that sick. When we was going through a divorce, his additude was that I stayed spaced out "drugged" when I was on duragesic patches. He comments that I have felt like I've had everything in the world wrong with me, and that they never find nothing wrong. And in front of my kids, yes.

    My ex-mother in law, during my divorce, stated that I was just crazy, turned me in to CPS making ridiculous accusations that were not true, like I wouldn't feed my kids or take care of them. Custody issue, she wanted my daughter but she didn't get her.

    My kids friends get in on the fun. They ask if there is anything really wrong with me. I made a statement I was in bed all day, and one asked me if I ever get bed sores.

    Is my family considerate toward how I feel, most of them aren't. Two of them would be it.

    Doctors, well haha to that one too. I was jumped on by an ER doctor for going in, he said they didn't treat chronic pain. A pain management clinic turned me down flat cold. The rheumatologist I just saw, for evaluation of MCTD, after 2 visits, said I didn't fit the criteria for anything, that she didn't know what to think of me. Went on to tell me that Fibromyalgia was just mostly due to depression anyways, but if she was to guess, that is what she would say was wrong with me. Told me to call if I needed anything, that she wasn't going to make a follow up appt for me. She took all my problems except the fatigue & pain and dismissed them like it wasn't actually occuring. My medical care has been compromised because of my fibromyalgia diagnosis and past depression issues.

    I wouldn't mind proving to my kids I am really sick, but even if I don't, so what. I need to concentrate on feeling better, not worrying about what everyone else thinks. You can't really change their minds, why bother trying, it's just a waist of your energy. You know your sick, so it doesn't matter what this person or that person thinks. All that matters is what you think of yourself.

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    Rob, your cousin can send my ex-husband a dead fish. LOL. Your hillarious.

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    I recently had a bad flare that made it very difficult for me to walk, or even stand up for very long. My 15 year old brother was tired of me being able to "lay around" and kept being a jerk and telling me I was faking it. When people dont understand they say stupid things because they think we're just taking the easy way out, even though having lupus is anything but easy. Hope you find some help at work.
    "A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends."~ Kin Hubbard

    Diagnosed: SLE, Raynauds, InterstitialLung Disease, GERD, Myositis, Vasculitis, Possible Sjogrens.
    Medications: 400mg Plaquenil, 2000mg Cellcept, 10mg Norvasc, Nitroglycerin Patch, 20mg Prilosec, 10mg Flexeril, 4mg Medrol, 81mg Asprin.

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    These stories are highly upsetting and I am astounded at how family/children can talk to their parents in this way. I remember my sister accusing my Mum of pretending to be ill and Mum was later diagnosed with cancer - something I reminded her of.

    Now a person will only ever get one chance to be nasty to me and I will rip them a new bum hole, seriously - no-one has the right to be like that with you, not even your children.

    Scary times when even the doctors make you feel bad for being sick. To be honest, I will see this specialist in July, he is meant to be good but if he says it isnt Lupus, then I am going to let it go - no way am I going to fight for it.

    That sounds feeble but I have fought PTSD, and I am just getting my life back - well aside from being sick, and I am not going to fight the doctors because I know I will get angry if they start accusing me of such things, I am still reeling from the nasty specialist the other week whom after slating me for my fitness, somewhat resembled a large tugboat himself in the weight department.

    I wish I could be there for you when your kids are horrible to you because in a few short sentences, I would make them feel so bad they would be the ones crying.

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    Yep, happens to me too. My sisters, especially the older one who's a nurse, are the worst. They just don't fully get it.

    Rob's right - that's harassment. It might be a good idea to mention it to someone who's in a position to sit that person down and explain that they are doing so to you. She might not even be aware that it is harassment but that doesn't make it ok for her to do.
    As long as this body works, I am going to enjoy life to the fullest for each second of every moment that I can.



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