I am really sorry to hear how your having to face alot of things to the full, it sounds like you need some strong support with the help.
Sorry to say this but your hubby may not understand really what situation your in and how much all of this may be getting to you, when the lupus hits you trying to do other things is like a major task and other people or family around you may have their problems but there comes times when you don't need it because physically your need the break. I felt like my hubby did'nt understand at first but he realized more when he saw the blood specialist.
Wow that's hard to have a mother like that but if she believes that way, sometimes they expect their own children to be the same and not sympathy flys you way if you need to chat and express how you feel and your correct where your hubby is concerned adjustment will have to be made because in alot of cases Lupus does'nt always get easier.
Try and chill more mate and take life and jobs at your own body pace i've had to, go back 4yrs i felt 60% ok with my energy but now the lots been wipped away so everything as to be done slowly got no choice.
My thoughts are with you and hoping your coping ok. xxx