when alan is ready, there are quite a few of us men on here.
until then, i know it is hard, you have to be his friend.
one of the hardest things for someone to admit, is they will no longer be able to care and protect there partner.
alan will have to come to terms with this, then he will be ready to ask for help.
until then, you will just be pushing him.
it is not easy.
Mary I know your husband must be feeling terrible at the moment, but how are you feeling? What sort of things do you enjoy doing together? If you try and spend some time together enjoying the same things, you can enjoy each others company without worrying about being sick. You are both special and you need to recognise what is unique in each other and focus on that, instead of being totally absorbed in the sickness that is surrounding your family.
Early into being diagnosed with any illness totally consumes a person and their relationsips with others. That is what they think about most of their waking moment. What you need to do is try to distract yourself and find something you enjoy. This will help you to relax and work through the process with less anxiety.
Diagnosed with Lupus - 22 June, 2010
I'd say Linda as said a great deal and (hit the nail on the head) you still need to do things together and don't let him sit and constantley think about it and if you get the attitude off Alan it's alright for you, if you try and push him into carrying on what you both enjoy in life, well then stand up and say WELL DO SOMETHIING ABOUT IT then you've put your hubby in a situation.
Alan's being how i was when i had my seizure's develop because the one lot of seizure's is rare and causes me to have Autissum, where i don't know what i'm doing i actually kept myself in my home and my dad did my shopping the lot, until one day the enclosure i'd put myself into made me realize what i was doing to my life. The seizure's was put to the back of my mind and i carried on and it was the best thing that woke me being enclosed and not living my life properly and i still think now to this day if i fit, i fit and whatever the outcome it's carry on.
~Hugs Terri~ xxx
Last edited by Peridot20_Gem; 05-17-2011 at 11:32 AM.