Hello Mary. You must be going through such a difficult time. I can only imagine being married to someone with Llupus is a bit like when we are having a baby, and our husbands just stand by us and hold our hands not really knowing what to do to help us through the pain. Besides, just about everthing they did seemed to be not what we wanted and we just got angry at them. Some even swear at them saying "It is all your fault - you put me into this *&*^&%$@ situation!!!"
Your husband is probably going through denial. And there really isn't much you can do except to educate yourself as much as you can about Lupus, and hold his hand when he needs you. As well as put up with any of his outbursts when he feels down and angry about not being able to do the things he used to. If you force him to educate himself you may run the risk of him isolating himself. It is still early in his diagnosis, and he will eventually want to talk to you. And when he does, you will know what he is talking about. Love him, support him, care for him, and remember how you first fell in love and treasure those memories, because they are still alive today.
Diagnosed with Lupus - 22 June, 2010