I'm sorry that you're feeling so alone, but you've found the best support group here at WHL. I was only diagnosed last year and this was where I turned when my PCP was doubting my rheumy's diagnosis (she's eating crow now), when I'm frustrated because my DH seems to have no clue what I'm dealing with or when I just need a cyber hug.
I live in the same community as I was born and raised so I've not had to ever deal with starting over in a new community, much less a new state!. My children are grown (my baby just started college) and my parents moved out of state a few years ago. Nobody wants to hear how I feel physically or emotionally-let's just pretend everything is "normal" when it's clearly not.
The insecurity of not having my "own" money from having a job/career has kept me in the work force. I don't want to feel like I'm trapped in the event my marriage unravels. Are you eligible for SSDI? Perhaps you could apply so that you will have the means with which to support yourself, if necessary. Plus, your having your own income might help with the feeling of despair and the feeling of not having choices due to economic reasons.
You don't mention if you're taking meds or how long you've been dx with SLE. Initially, I fought brain fog something terrible. I changed work units a year ago last June and couldn't figure out why I wasnt grasping new concepts. My brain seemed to short circuit, leaving me very frustrated and scared about my future. Plaquenil has been most helpful for my brain fog, yet I still have some trouble connecting the dots at times.
Hang in there because you've found a lifeline when you found WHL. It really has helped me with the emotional support that I craved and answers to questions about all the new things I was experiencing medically.
thank you so much
thank you to everyone who has replied and to the ones who read and simpathizezed (sp?) cant spell anymore. I used to be a successful commercial architect for 20 + years. Now I am sickly waitng on SSDI. thanks for validating me. sher