My girlfriend has lupus, I'm finding it hard to cope.
Although we have only been dating for 6 months, my girlfriend and I have known each other for over 5 years, and have been extremely close for that time. We are both very much in love, and very serious in our relationship. I am 19, and she is 17, but we are both very serious about each other.
Sadly, she has lupus, and has had so for around 10 years. In addition, she also has M.E., so life is really hard for her.
I'll give you some background information, I just want to know what I can do for her. I really care about her.
It is a long distance relationship, as I ive in Scotland and she lives in the West Midlands.
Our relationship started very intensely, and tbh I completely smothered her. I didn't understand about her illnesses at all, I barely knew anything about it. Over time though I have learnt more and looked up websites, spoke to her about it, things like that.
Obviously this smothering was very bad for her, and ultimately we ended up on a break because she couldn't handle it. Because of all the smothering, she just needs some time to relax and have some space for a while. We are still in touch, and see each other often, almost every day at the minute, when she can. We plan to be back together when she has had the space that she needs to recover.
She is very very ill at the minute, I've never known her to be so ill. I desperately want her to be okay again, and obviously I want us to be back together again.
I'm finding it so hard atm, cause I really love her, and sometimes she seems very standoffish with me because she is so tired and stuff. It's hard not knowing if she still feels the same about me as she used to, even though we plan to be back together when she is better, all I really have is hope that we will be, and that she still feels the same?
As well as that I feel really... kind of useless, for not being able to do anything. Any time I ask, she says there is nothing I can do. I really wish I could just help her relax, cheer her up, anything. It's so hard just sitting back when my loved one is suffering so much.
In a really weird sounding way, I kind of feel guilty for well, not having the illness? I really want to be able to understand, but I know I can never properly. I just want to support her, and do whatever I can to help her.
Sorry for the rant lol