At first, i wasn't sure which board to post this on. I am no where near new to lupus, I've had it since I was 6. It was pretty severe and I was on high doses of prednisone and cytoxin. Now I'm on hydroxycholoquine and 10mg prednisone. However, I'm new to lupus because I'm in my first flare since childhood. And so, I thought the newbie lounge might be best for my particular problem.
I'm 18 and a college student, as it is I have a lot of stress, but NOTHING compares to the anxiety i feel when I think about my lupus.
Am i the only one that can't get it out of my head? I compulsively read forums and whatever else I can find about lupus in order to find out if my symptoms are in the norm. Usually all that happens is that I learn of new symptoms that I don't experience, then spend time worrying that someday I will.
I see my rheumatologist and who ever else he refers me to pretty often enough, but I'm always scared that something is missed and that a medical emergency will happen.
Whenever I pay attention to my heart beat, it seems so fast and heavy. My hair is thinning, my joints ache. I see floaters in my vision everyday and every few days experience occular migrains. All this things scare the crap out of me.
But this isn't always the case! Sometimes I feel totally normal. I can run around and be a retarded college student. Just whenever I remember that I have lupus it's like I remember that I'm not allowed to have the good time that I used to becuase I'm too fragile. Am I really that fragile?
Does anyone else feel like this? I'd really love to hear what everyone has to say about me. Am I a hypochondriac? Are my concerns ligit? Should I be less sensitive to my symptoms, and let some of my ailments slide?
Thanks a lot, this is something that has pretty much ruined my last 3 months.