There was a model on the show "America's Next Top Model" that had lupus and she did not let it interfere with her competition and she did VERY well by the way. Like Saysusie said: Don't give your self a life sentence without all the facts and even then you don't have to give yourself a life sentence. Life is what you make it!
It sounds like you're freaking yourself out here... I understand, because I did it too when my doctors tested me for AIDS. (I don't have it, but for some reason, due to my surgical history, each new doctor tests me.) I freak out and start planning my own funeral and my kids and husband have to put up with me not being rational... and then the doctor calls and tells me that I'm fine... and I am, until the next doctor tests me ;)
So--when you hear that you "might" have lupus, that could mean a LOT of things. Don't shut down your life (or shut out your loved ones) because of this. It's a "might" right now. It's not even a dianosis. Heck, most of us went through years of unknown diagnoses before we got the final one--and usually by then, it's a relief to have a 'name' attached to the symptoms.
Stressing yourself out can cause symptoms that mimic autoimmune disease. If you are convinced that your hair is falling out, and that is a horrible thing, then the stress of your self-convincing can be enough to cause your hair to fall out--even without any illness. You can stress yourself out and cause blood pressure spikes, and headaches. You can talk yourself into stiff joints and blurred vision. So, first, take a breath. ;) Second, find yourself a rheumatologist. Third, (or maybe this should be second) tell your fiance.
I don't know why his friend hung himself after the diagnosis of lupus, but I question the entirety of his "reasoning".
Do not--I repeat--do not-- stop your life for this. My daughter was a "maybe" patient like you, and she has the ANA but no symptoms. She has Raynauds. And--she has a mom with advancing lupus/autoimmune vasculitis. This does not stop her from modeling, from working, from college, or anything.
What do you mean, you don't think you can go on? You "think" you have it, and can't live with it? Why do you think that just now your heart may be weaker than your aging parents? It sounds like you might be misinformed about what lupus really is.
If you are feeling this stressed out, maybe you should consider a serious discussion with the doctor that said you "might" have lupus. Maybe a temporary antidepressant can help you with these out-of-control feelings. I really think you're stressing yourself out... A tingly left arm is probably stress--there is a nerve that will do that when you stress yourself out.
You didn't "used to be" a model or actress unless you quit those jobs. The diagnosis of lupus isn't a forclosed sentence. Even if you do have this (which you don't know yet), you can live a full life. You can act, model, and be married. ;)
I know what you mean about hair troubles, I use to have long glossy hair and now it's thinning and dry. I would so much like to have nice hair, just because I feel that hair reflects your health.
I've been having a lot of success though with using natural shampoo bars, giving myself regular scalp massages and taking flaxseed oil supplements aswell as MSM supplements, along with a regular multivitamin. Believe it or not, using mayonnaise as a deep conditioner really works too.
I also switched to using a wide-toothed comb, and a big natural bristle brush - that really cuts down on the breakage of my hair. You can get some at bodyshop I believe.
Don't be so worried about your heart, I mean yes be concerned about your health but don't sit there fretting thinking that your heart is more aged than your parents. I mean you could just easily have an inflammation of the lining of you heart. It could be something very minor, don't stress yourself about it.
I have Lupus, and I have beautiful, long, glossy deep red hair. It's my wig (I call my wig and wigstand "the vixen" :) ) People do not know it is a wig unless I tell them. My own hair is coming back and it is thick and curly (something I always wanted.)
Losing your hair is not the end of your life. Heck, you may not lose it at all. Many people on here haven't. Nor is Lupus the end of your life. Take some deep breaths, make an appointment with a rheumatologist or internal medicine specialist, and fnd something to do in the meantime to keep your mind from going down paths it should not go--like diagnosing yourself. Breathe.
I was just diagnosed today. I actually said to the Rheumatologist - WHAT? I have lupus?
I am still doing internet research as to what it involves and how serious it is. I just had triple bypass in March and have been doing great. Then I had trouble with low iron to the point of having 5 weeks worth of iron infusions. Now this!
I am sorry to hear that you've been diagnosed with Lupus. However, Lupus comes in so many forms and can be from mild to very serious. You did not tell us what type of Lupus you were diagnosed with. Also, if you've read the previous posts in this thread, you will have learned that having Lupus is not a death sentence, nor does it mean the end of your hopes and dreams. With appropriate lifestyle changes, medication, treatment, and care..you can continue to live a reasonably normal lifestyle and can continue to pursue your dreams or to find new pursuits that bring purpose to your life.
We are here to help you in any way that we can. Please do not feel that this diagnosis comes with finality. I wish you the very best.
Peace and Blessings