Need to vent a little bit.....okay a lot
Let me preface this with - I will never walk away from my mom, I will always be there for her no matter what and I wouldn't have it any other way. However, the cost is sometimes....frustrating. I'm not talking financial cost, I'm talking emotional and personal costs.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now, not to the point where we have under gone any fertility treatments, but those are coming. My doctor says it's time for the next step if we want to have a baby. My husband is 41 and I am 34. The problem with this is the time that it takes for my mom. She demands a lot of my time and attention, and no matter how much of it I give her, it's never enough according to her. I have been caring for my mom my entire adult life and I sometimes wonder when it will be my turn. When will I get to live my life and have a family of my own.
I get angry and frustrated and then I feel guilty for feeling angry and frustrated. I feel selfish for wanting to have time for my family and wanting to have the time to start a family. My husband is fantastic when it comes to being understanding of my mom's needs, but he gets frustrated too. He wants his wife to be around and to spend time with me.
I want my mom around forever, I'm selfish that way! But I also want my turn to live my life, have babies, go on vacations.... Is that wrong?