Hon. you did such a good job bawling yourself out, what's left to say? Just don't feel too bad about it - extreme pain can make the most rational person in the world go cuckoo. If there's any blame here, put it on the doctor's office for not calling you back. I hope you expressed your feeling to the doctor, and that you are now well provided with pain meds.
Before I was diagnosed with Lupus 5yrs ago, I was a regular smoker and occassional drinker and I quit all that when I started to have a flare. But I don't know if this is because I do have an "inactive" lupus nowadays I allowed myself to have a drink and smoke occassionally. I just take it in moderation for I don't wanna kill myself and waste all the medications I'm taking.