Learning to accept
Hello. I was diagnosed about 7 yrs ago with fibromalgia and within the yrs following, I gained the title Mixed Connective Tissue Disease... Then about two yrs ago, the doctor said what I had always feared...”you have Lupus.” I didn't feel any different and continued to take the same meds...Plaquinil and Neurontin. I felt blessed to have milder symptoms. This past week has been TERRIBLE. I have had intermittent fevers for five days now. Went to my primary doc yesterday. I never realized with Lupus there is SO MANY possibilities to the symptoms I am having. My upper left abdomen/chest/side has been hurting, too. I had to call off work today and for the first time, I have found myself crying ”I just want my old body back!” Hopefully, after drawing eight tubes of blood and going thru some testing, I will have answers. In the meantime, I am glad I found this site for some support. If I hear one more person who doesn't have Lupus say ”but, you look so good”, I may scream.
Welcome to WHL. I am glad you went to the doctor. Never mess with what could be organ involvement (heart, lung, kidneys, brain). There's a learning curve but it gets easier and they will begin to get things settled into your "new normal". Vents way here. We get it and we understand
Hey Anna! I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I have actually been well enough to **run** the last few months (major, MAJOR victory) and then, wouldn't you know it, a nasty flare... just when my spirits were soaring! The last few weeks, I too have been crying "I want my old body back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I understand what you're dealing with and I hope you're on the up and up soon!
I also had that happen to me. In June I was doing good. I was starting to feel better. I did a few things over July 4th and that was it. Back into this nasty flare. I have had fevers on/off, a lot of pain in my chest/heart area, and major joint/muscle pains. I am still in it and I don't think it's going to let up. At least it feels that way. I know what you mean about people saying "Well, you look good today!" I want to say "You should see my insides!" I wish I could have my old body back too. It is hard to accept sometimes. I am having trouble accepting the new me. I was an active person and now I am unable to do the things I love. I am trying to be acceptable of my new self with Lupus, but it's hard. I sometimes catch myself crying about what I have lost. That may sound like a downer attitude, but right now just how I feel. I hope it will pass soon.
I pray your flare will soon ease and you may find relief.
MONO... it's mono(just found out today)... enlarged spleen... can't afford to miss work... taking it one day at a time.