Frustrated and trying to hang on to my job
I was diagnosed with SLE and Sjogrens in 2008, and was controlling them fairly well with OTC anti-inflammatory and supplements. I have been working a few temp jobs here and there when I felt good, and lost two "real jobs" due to being ill. Two months ago I got another "real" job. It wasn't what I was looking for (wanted part-time, easy work), but it kind of fell into my lap and I felt I had to accept it. It was working out OK then this last week all hell broke loose. I am in a major flare, major pain and discomfort, have had a LOT of trouble thinking straight, and an basically crying at my desk and not being able to do the job I was able to do last week. I disclosed my condition to HR and then my supervisor, and there are some minor accommodations they are willing to make (seat me in a more private area, give me somewhat easier work), but even with these accommodations, I am still circling the drain of this job. My Dr, a general physician, is going to get me in to see a rheumatologist within several days, but I still don't have insurance on this job for another 5 weeks, so I'm dreading what all the testing, Drs, and etc, will cost. My Dr suggested applying for Medicaid, which I will do, especially if I loose this job. My boyfriend of 7 years was great at the Drs yesterday, he said I just needed to get better, to not worry if I lose this job, it's not the end of the world, but I could tell there was also this hope that I can hang on for another 5 or 6 weeks to get insurance. I am not sure if I should try to hang on to this job, wait for them to terminate me, quit, or what. I am trying to accept that I am not the same as I was a decade ago, that maybe I can't do this type of detailed stressful office work. It just makes me feel frustrated that I can't do the things I could do in the past. Would like advice, comfort, etc. I really enjoy reading everyone else's posts - it makes me feel not so alone.