Scared to grow up sick! (kinda long, sorry!)
Hi, I'm new to this forum however I'm not all that new to Lupus and Fibro! I was diagnosed when I was sixteen (a junior in high school) and now I'm twenty-two! I've been dealing with it for six years and getting along fairly well, however I'm now forced to think about my future with these two diseases. I'm struggling through college right now, and am worried that I'll never finish due to how long and hard I have to study to get a C in an easy class. I'm majoring in psychology, but wonder if I'll ever be of value to any workforce because I get so sick, depressed, and tired. I've already been fired from three different jobs due to my illnesses! I have also been dating this amazing and understanding guy, and now we want to get married the summer of 2007 (I need lots of planning time)! The only thing is, I'm terrified of being the 'sick wife and mother'! He constantly tells me he would never see me that way and thinks I'm the strongest person he knows, however, I don't want to be the one to bring down family trips because I'm too sick, or can't make it to my kids play or soccer game because I can't get out of bed. Most of all I worry that I'll make our kids sick from passing along my bad genes! He even says we can adopt if I'm that scared or if I can't even have kids! Of coarse, I don't want to leave him alone to raise our children by himself. He says we'll just take it as it comes because we're ment to be together, and he couldn't possible love someone like he loves me! We've been dating for five years,and lived together for two, so he knows my illnesses quiet intimately and the issues that it brings. So is he right? Should I not worry about it? Or is there at least a better way to go about it. It's hard for me to plan the wedding when I think about the future. I need advice! I need someone who has been there to tell me what to expect. It breaks my heart to think that I might hinder Adams life because of mine! Help!