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    love love love you you you!!!!!!!!!
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    LOL............ Here we go again! START a few paragraphs down!!! LOL
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    OMG, SWIMMING, TOO DARN CUTE!!!!! Ash and Jake were in swimming too!!! OMG Carlotta, I am so EXCITED for you to do all that with her and for her. SHES LUCKY to have YOU. Also happy to hear her parents are BETTER with one another now. THAT makes such a BIG difference for EVERYONE involved. Solaris especially. THANK YOU again for BEING here and I cant say I LOVE YOU and I ADORE YOU enough! Love, kisses and hugs to YOU. Love, Jeannette
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    SO MUCH to sort out and adjust to. ewww, sorry this color is bad HUH! It was hurting my eyes! LOL SORRY! OK, that made me want to get back to YOU! Im so sorry to hear about your son being laid off. FINGERS CROSSED it will all be ok.October surgery, UGH BUT Im happy to hear the reconstructing is going good! Just hope you dont have anymore after that one! Do you know if there will be more? Just finish it up already huh! AWWWW, I was so HAPPY to hear you and Solaris have some GREAT things lined up and going on! WOOHOO!!!! Kindergarten and you being a room mom! OMG! How I MISS those days! I tell my kids all the time I am SO THANKFUL I had ALL of Ashs and MOST of Jakes "younger yrs" to do all the MOM stuff I LOVED to do, FOR them and WITH them. Before getting VERY ILL.
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    I cant just "do it" overnight. Right? I feel like I will "bother" people or "repeat" myself too much to people. As I type, I think I also am facing "losing" people I CARE about. Something I have such issues with that I didnt even realize it until my dad died. Karen and Dawn walking in my life after dad died just to lie to my family and I (again) so they could steal from him since Im the one controlling his estate. I actually trusted they were being honest with me. My therapist said I should have known better since I knew who I was dealing with. BUT, in such a tragic moment Carlotta I honestly thought "NO, they arent THAT SICK". I was wrong.
  6. View Conversation
    OMG Carlotta, THANK YOU for your msgs. I NEEDED that and it made me feel good to HEAR EVERYTHING you wrote to me.LOVE YOU so much.I get so lost sometimes.Its like I dont know what to "do" with myself and my emotions sometimes.Today is ROUGH again. BUT I am not allowing myself to think about my dads face or HEAR his voice or I get REALLY BAD again. I cant look at his pictures around my house or I get REALLY BAD again. Its too much. He was the one I told EVERYTHING to. HE calmed me, HE was there EVERY time I needed him for whatever reason (without judgment, unconditional LOVE he gave to me). I didnt even tell my best friends here at home much. I dont SHARE much and this is NEW for me to be reaching out to people who ARENT my dad or Carl. I told Marijo I feel selfish almost. I know only I can make myself FEEL this way, BUT, this is all so NEW to me and such a BIG CHANGE in so many ways to my life. So many adjustments and changes for so many reasons.
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    Oh, Im so SAD for YOU Carlotta. I am so sorry for YOUR PAIN from the loss of your PRECIOUS Lauri. HOW HOW HOW?????????????? How to ACCEPT IT???????????? I feel so LOST and SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    UGH THE PAIN! How to COPE!!!!!
  9. View Conversation
    OMG Carlotta IM SO GLAD you are on. I am having one of those REALLY HARD DAYS ACCEPTING the fact that my papa is gone and HOW he left me. I am SO LOST right now in a sea of SADNESS. How do I accept that I will NEVER talk to him on the phone again. That I will never have our SPECIAL DAYS together? IT HURTS and even though i have my loved ones around me and YOU and WHL are HERE for me, I STILL have this OVERWHELMING feeling of LONLINESS. Does that make sense? I almost picked up the phone to call him Carlotta, a few times. I feel as if I will hear him on the other end and SEE HIM when I go to his house. We are close to selling it (i am executor of his Will) and I still havent barely begun to go through his things. THAT makes it more "final". I feel like if we still have his house as is then he WILL show back up. OMG! I feel like Im losing my mind Carlotta. How do I get through this INTENSE PAIN....The "reality" when I MAKE myself "face it" hits me SO HARD.
  10. View Conversation
    Aw man! I had so much more said and it was too much so it didnt post, and NOW this is out of order on YOUR board! So, READ the one UNDER this ONE FIRST!!!! LOL I had tests done last week so I hope to be back on some time this week to visit again and Ill let you know the results! HUMUNGUS (is THAT even a word in the dictionary? Did I spell it right? HMMMMMM, damn Lupus! LOL) HUGS and KISSES!!!!!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH! XXXOOO
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About Saysusie

Basic Information

Date of Birth
October 21
About Saysusie
Biography:
Married for 30+ years. Professional Singer - Moderator/Administrator at WHL
Location:
Victorville, California
Interests:
Singing; swimming; walking; reading
Occupation:
Retired Law-Enforcement

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11-11-2001
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View Saysusie's Blog

Recent Entries

Hello Family

by Saysusie on 02-15-2013 at 01:07 PM
I know many of you have been wondering about my absence, so I thought that I would pop in to write this blog to share with all of you. Right now, I am facing a challenge as I've been diagnosed with breast cancer. This diagnosis has been an upheaval in my life and a traumatic one for all of my family and friends. As you can imagine, I have not been able to function properly since the diagnosis. As such, I have not been here because I felt so useless and unable to provide much support, comfort,

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The holidays and stress

by Saysusie on 12-22-2011 at 05:31 AM
Hello WHL Family;
As we all know, stress is one of our biggest enemies and I know that, with the holidays upon us, many of us are feeling (and dealing with) additional stress. Wherever there is stress, we often find that there is also a bit of anger, some resentment, and often feelings of powerlessness.
I just want to remind everyone that the truth is: No one, but ourselves, has authority over how we feel. In all stressful situations, we have the choice of how we will react to them.

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It Never Gets Easier

by Saysusie on 10-03-2011 at 09:47 PM
Hello WHL Family; It is October, again. October 2011 marking 12 yrs since the loss of my sweet Lauri. I suspect that this October will be a rather difficult month for me because I have had so many health challenges heretofore and now the stress of having to acknowledge another birthday that my sweet daughter is not here to celebrate; well, it is not helping my physical health at all.
I know that my health deteriorates each and every year at this time and, intellectually, I have made that

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Faith Of The Heart!

by Saysusie on 01-13-2011 at 02:29 PM
Dear WHL Family;
It has been quite a while since I posted a Blog. However, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts about faith, love, and loss.
Each year, around the holiday season, I and my family fall into a dark abyss from October until January. These months represent our daughter's (Lauri's) birthday month..Thanksgiving without her, the anniversary of her passing (12/10), her wedding anniversary (12/13), and finally Christmas and New Year's without her.
No matter

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Another New WHL Home!!

by Saysusie on 01-01-2010 at 03:08 PM
Hello Dear WHL Family;
Do you realize that it was February 17, 2009 when I posted a blog about our then new WHL site provided by Conrad. I talked about our exhilaration as we explored the new site and how we were able to forget our illness for those moments that we spent playing in the arcade, uploading pictures, exploring new capabilities of the site, etc.
I also mentioned that "static" was something that Conrad would NEVER allow! Was I right??? Here we are, less

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