Accepting our limitations

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I've tried, I did well while both were in reasonably good health. But now with Mother's fall resulting in a broken elbow; I find that I must accept my limitations. I can not physically care for her. I have irrated my shoulder, pulled a muscle in my back that can not heal while I continue to lift her when she slips, catch her when she starts to fall. She will not listen to me because I'm the daughter. I thought I could do this as last year went so well. But this year has been terrible 2 stays in the hospital, one out-patient surgery for mother. Then there's always the possible of Daddy's heart attack.

Today I am going to admitted my limitations and say it's assisted living or hiring several aides to cover the hours. Mother needs constant watching, she refuses to listen to my father and myself. She has to go her own way. Nothing I cook pleases them. I hurt so badly I can't sleep. I just want to cry, I want to go home and have someone care for me I so can heal.

My Lyrica dosage is too low, but a higher dosage will make me loopy, so I can't take a higher one right now. It hurts every night when I open the hide-a-bed I have to sleep on. I'm stressing again, trying to push through everything like I did when I was working. I know that this brings on flares, I can't flare and take care if two elderly people.

I think it's time to surrender. I've lost the strength to continue the fight. The pain is becoming to overwhelming. I can not be positive anymore.

I surrender.
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  1. Nonna's Avatar
    Ok, I sometimes wonder if I'm losing it. Through out my life as a writer, I've been able to create a world of fantasy where I could hide from the evils in my life. My mind has ceased to function on that level. I've had writer's block for almost a year. I can only guess that my stress levels have been slowly but continuously rising. Well, I hope to find relief soon as my parents will be going into assisted living. My mother is very fragile, and gets so anemic that they give her blood transfusions. Her condition is stable for the moment, but you never know when she is going to fall again. Of course all this stress is no good for my Dad's heart.

    Lord, watch over us. And thank you for your footsteps in the sand.
  2. Moonbeam's Avatar
    Nonna, I was right where you are. It got to the point that I couldn't care for my mom and dad either. My brother and dad decided that assisted living was the best alternative for us. It took a lot of stress off of me, assisted living. I could go and see them and then I could leave and go home. My dad was in and out of the hospital at least 7 times before he went into assisted living. The Drs. then came to the assisted living facility and when dad went on hospice, the help came to the assisted living facility. I hurt my back, pulled a muscle trying to bath mom when they were living at home. As you know they both passed away a few years ago. The fact that they are gone never ends, the grief is always there.
  3. lovedbyHim's Avatar
    Hi Nonna do you remember me? I was to hike the AT trail. Nonna I have had to put my dad in a nursing home because he was too much for me to handle and keep a job and roof over my head. You are a good girl even if you can't carry the load. Love yourself and accept your limitations. My dad is doing much better there, as he gets to flirt with the girls! That was a bonus!
  4. Nonna's Avatar
    Mother and Daddy are now in assisted living and I am back home in Georgia. Life seems to be getting easier for me. But sometimes I wonder.

    Lovedbyhim, wonderful to hear from you
  5. Moonbeam's Avatar
    I am confident you did the right thing by putting them in assisted living. You sound like you could not go on the way it was. Of course, for them, it will not be like when they were living in their home, but they will adjust. Maybe they will not always like assisted living, but there are a lot of things in life we don't always like, but we have to put up with these things anyway.
  6. Nonna's Avatar
    Thanks Moonbean I know I did the right thing, but still feel guilty at times
  7. lovedbyHim's Avatar
    Well I was recently under extreme stress and kept doing all I felt I needed to do to help everyone, and I am hospitalized with stroke like symptoms due to thick blood causing a hemiplegic migraine syndrome. I need a lot of PT, OT, and speech. I feel like I was run over by a truck. Please listen to your body. I did not and can't even go home by myself now. Now someone needs to take care of me!:-(
  8. Nonna's Avatar
    LovedbyHim, you are loved by Him, hugs
  9. lovedbyHim's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Nonna
    LovedbyHim, you are loved by Him, hugs
    Tomorrow I get a spinal tap because I continue to have slurred speech, dizziness and confusion! Rest my friends!