Go to the ranch!

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Yesterday was a learning experience. Wake up early, nauseated from the early activity, drive to hospital, check in at emergency room wait in hall - standing, room packed with very sick people, stress about getting a virus, called to window, sign papers explain that I have a compromised immune system and must not be around sick people - asked to wait, stand in hall waiting, secondary phlebotomist says I must have a blood draw to test hematocrit and must wait in the emergency room with the sick people for the primary phlebotomist to draw me - IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM WITH ALL THE SICK PEOPLE. I told her that was not going to be possible can she take me to the secondary phlebotomy room where I will have a unit removed that is away from the sick people and she tells me to wait WITH THE SICK PEOPLE.

After an hour of this I politely told her this was not going to work and left. But all was not lost! I made my way to Watercanyon and enjoyed a Itallian soda and met a nice new neighbor named Steve Lambert. I'll have to remember his name. We talked about our spouses and horses. He told me he met my horses at White Rock. It gave me renewed hope. I must GO to see my horses!

The day I sent them to the ranch was one of the saddest days of my life. I cried literally non stop for days, did not finish crying for about two weeks. I could not talk to anyone without crying. It felt to me that is was the end of a dream. I should go today. Get dressed, put vest on and go. I have been afraid that I would start crying. I am tearing up just thinking about it. I had such high hopes.

How many dreams has lupus stolen from me? Horses are all I know, they are my life. I don't feel complete without a special bond with my horse. OK, I have to do this. Shower and soak that vest. It seems like such a huge thing, it is so much easier to rest but I aint dead yet!
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  1. mountaindreamer's Avatar
    hey ayah,

    did you visit your horses? i can feel your love for them in your blog.....you should go and let them love you back.
  2. AyahsClan's Avatar
    Thank you for asking. Not yet. DH came home from the road and we been busy. That is just an excuse. I am afraid. Afraid of crying, I am not sure. Funny but I seen Steve again which is very rare. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'm going to put it on my list of things to do. It is so emotional for me.

    I hope you are well and your daughter is enjoying her adventure.