Eeyore Days Part 2

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Where do I begin and how do I say this. I don't know if it's selfish or not. We had a beautiful day today no problems at all, then I made the simple mistake of going into the kitchen, Mom walked away and left me there to watch over what was on the stove. According to her I took it off the stove too soon and dinner wasn't hot enough to suit her. Mind you the food has to be hot the plates warmed and everything on the table at six. She then proceeds to spent the entire evening harping on everything that I supposed did wrong. I broke one thing, a bottle of gravy. However all the dishes she broke and the chips in them now, we're caused by me. I know her mind is going and I'm trying so hard to go with the flow. I just am getting to the point where I'm not sure I can do this all on my own.

But how do I bring up assisted living, how do I say it's time to go into assisted living by family so that I have help nearby. They are so set it their ways and set here in Florida. How do I say,why don't we move up to Georgia by Julie and David. Dare I even go there......... Am I being selfish??????

I'm stressing and I know it's bad for me. I don't know where to turn. All the advice I get has my head going in circles.

Tonite I just want to cry, but the tears as usual don't come
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  1. Nonna's Avatar
    Well, two nice days without an incident. I hope I haven't jinxed myself saying it. I'm feeling better emotionally, bad times only when Mom losses it. I'm having severe pain in my left shoulder elbow and wrist . Thought at first it was arthritis, because tests showed I have carpel tunnel in that wrist. Thinking that the elbow and shoulder pain are related. See Doc. On the twenty third. Had a brain fog moment and grabbed a right wrist brace instead of a left one. Gotta go back tomorrow and switch them out. I swam today and made it for 25 minutes before my wrist and hand exploded in horrid pain, being in the deep end I quickly got to swallow water and climbed out. The hot tub felt real good and I did another 15 minutes. I got to cook tonite, Mom helped. I went and got her so we could cook together. I think I did the right thing there. Well, my wrist is hurting again, more another time.
  2. Mica's Avatar
    I took care of my grandmother the last few years of her life and she lived with my mom and I. I took care of her because my mom worked a lot. My grandmother was horrible, she was a mean spiteful woman to the day she died, and it got to the point I had to put her in a home because mentally she was making my lupus worse. I couldn't feel guilty at all because she was unmanageable, the final straw was on a bad lupus day she decided she wanted a shower so I told her please wait for my mom or tomorrow when her bath lady came. She wouldn't have it, decided to do it her self and it made me so stressed and physically worn because she got her way to make me help.
    Can you get caregivers, they will come into the home to help. That way it takes some of the stress off of you. It's like a step before assistant living.
  3. Nonna's Avatar
    Thanks for sharing your story, Mica. My Dad has a heart condition and he just wants everything status quo. Good days far out weigh the bad at the moment. I know down the road I'll have to take those step, but as they need each other we'll just take it slow
  4. Moonbeam's Avatar
    It just gets to the point where you have to bring up assisted living. My mom had advanced alzheimers and nothing would please her. She was driving me crazy. For my own sanity, mom and dad had to go into a home. I couldn't bathe mom anymore. My back would go into spasms and then I had to go to the chiropractor (which at that time I could not afford). Poor dad had it worse than me. Mom started to get physically violent and hit him when he disagreed with her over things. We didn't know at the time he had a form of bone cancer. Believe me, he had the patience of the bibical Job. It isn't selfishness. It is doing what is best for them, even if they don't think so.
  5. Nonna's Avatar
    I know, the situation is getting worse for me. I think I'll have to confront things sooner than later.