Nonna

Why????

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I'm feeling very alone right now; I know it's just a downer because I've been flaring and can't seem to get back on my feet. The pain in my hip and leg was unbearable today but I pushed through it as usual. Now myshoulder and arm on my good side is acting up. I hurts much I want to cry but I know it will do no good. Every one just wants me to be healthily. At least as healthily as I can be. But I hurt too much to exercise . I still try though. But I hurt and I want to cry and I feel so alone- even when I'm not.
I know Jesus is with me and He heals me as best possible with this disease.

But I am alone emotionally and I can't seem to help myself. I know it's just a downer right noe and it will be over soon. I just had to express my feelings for once
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  1. Mica's Avatar
    I feel your pain, we all on this site know what your feeling right now. I think something along what you wrote goes through my head at least once a day.
  2. Kristyxx's Avatar
    Nonna,

    It's okay to be frustrated; we all have our moments. I understand where you're coming from with feeling alone; but know that you aren't, you have all of us here(!) and we understand where you're coming from. You aren't a downer; you have every right to feel upset and down, what you're going through is hard. Personally, I try to remember that if we were never had hard times we'd never have good times. In this life we are never given anything we can't handle; I am sure you have the strength to get through this.

    All the best,
    -Kristy
  3. Nonna's Avatar
    Merry Christmas to all. We had a family emergency this year. My son in laws father had a brain bleed. The family went down to be with him; they did an angiogram to find the problem and repair it. That was yesterday. He's still unconscious. My grandson is here with me and we both feel very alone. Friends want us to be with them; but it's not the same as family. I sit here and pray for him to recover. But I also feel guilty about not liking my situation. Loneliness is something we all feel at one time or another.

    I think it also stems from my failed marriage my shyness and inability to make friends. That's very hard for me and those friends I have have their own families and lives. I saw that when we gathered at chuch last night and talked about family and loved ones. I was alone. I'm still alone. The Lupus makes me feel worse; especially not being able to pull myself together. I spend the afternoon cooking and doing dishes. I am so wiped and overwhelmed emotionally with all that has happened that I I want to do is cry. I need to go and try again.

    Hugs and Merry Christmas to all (and to all Good Night)