So much better right now
by, 03-17-2011 at 04:45 PM (2206 Views)
I can't believe how black and white some of these lupus days are. You can be in the pit of dispair and pain one day and then wake up and feel like hitting the mall. Okay, the mall part is really rare, but it does happen. A couple of nights ago I made a decision to start going to bed at a very specific time (earlier) and then when I wake up, focus on that day and that day only. The AA approach of one day at a time, one minute at a time when necessary. Grant it, it is only day two but both have been good, productive days.
I am also going to attempt ten minutes on the treadmill each day with light stretching and then very gradually try new exercise styles. I hate being this out of shape. I've never been mistaken for a fitness queen, but for six years I worked out 45 minutes, 6 times a week. I really was in good shape and I felt the benefits. I'm willing to go down to five minutes if it's a horrible day but I want to get into that habit. Tonight I'm actually looking forward to it! I know I'll have to do it at night since the prednisone makes me sweat so much, but no big deal. I just know I did a light workout last night and I felt much better today. Maybe building muscle will help with my intense fatigue.
I made all the calls to the Rheumatologist group at the local school of medicine and now it's a waiting game. In the meantime, I plan to see my old rheum just to see if I can get on some drug therapy to help all of the symptoms that continue to grow daily. I'm very concerned about the damage that may be happening while I wait for the approval of this new group and they don't even have appointments until June/July.
But in the big picture, I'm going to try this new way of thinking! My depression is an ugly little beast and it will steal any hope or gratitude I have. Frankly, I think I've lost enough already. Now I'm ready to start taking some of it back!