So much better right now

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I can't believe how black and white some of these lupus days are. You can be in the pit of dispair and pain one day and then wake up and feel like hitting the mall. Okay, the mall part is really rare, but it does happen. A couple of nights ago I made a decision to start going to bed at a very specific time (earlier) and then when I wake up, focus on that day and that day only. The AA approach of one day at a time, one minute at a time when necessary. Grant it, it is only day two but both have been good, productive days.

I am also going to attempt ten minutes on the treadmill each day with light stretching and then very gradually try new exercise styles. I hate being this out of shape. I've never been mistaken for a fitness queen, but for six years I worked out 45 minutes, 6 times a week. I really was in good shape and I felt the benefits. I'm willing to go down to five minutes if it's a horrible day but I want to get into that habit. Tonight I'm actually looking forward to it! I know I'll have to do it at night since the prednisone makes me sweat so much, but no big deal. I just know I did a light workout last night and I felt much better today. Maybe building muscle will help with my intense fatigue.

I made all the calls to the Rheumatologist group at the local school of medicine and now it's a waiting game. In the meantime, I plan to see my old rheum just to see if I can get on some drug therapy to help all of the symptoms that continue to grow daily. I'm very concerned about the damage that may be happening while I wait for the approval of this new group and they don't even have appointments until June/July.

But in the big picture, I'm going to try this new way of thinking! My depression is an ugly little beast and it will steal any hope or gratitude I have. Frankly, I think I've lost enough already. Now I'm ready to start taking some of it back!
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  1. Linda From Australia's Avatar
    WAY TO GO !!!!!
  2. serand4's Avatar
    Hi Linda! I hope all is well with you. Right now I'm in a good phase and I thank God constantly (yes, I'm one of those religious folks!) because I know that next week can be a whole different story. We're experiencing Spring weather right now and that is always a big mood booster to us Midwesterners. I know we're supposed to stay away from sunlight but I love having the curtains open and fresh air streaming through. I'll see if I have to suffer for it later!

    I see my old rheumy tomorrow. It should be an interesting visit. I haven't seen her since my last hospital visit when all my joints swelled up and I got so sick. Wait until she finds out the dose of prednisone I'm on! But I am working steadily to get it down. I'm taking everyone's advice and going super slow - .5mg every five days. If it takes longer, then it takes longer. I'm really going to take it one day at a time.

    Write when you get a moment and tell me how you are!