serand4

Mixed blessings

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I had the first really,really good day in probably five months and I'm almost afraid to go to bed tonight for fear tomorrow will put me back where I was. It was amazing! I was able to clean the house, grocery shop, get my son his favorite take-out meal and even do some laundry. I know we're not supposed to overdo but I have a feeling that we all do it anyway. After all, how many times have we gone a week without vacuuming or doing laundry simply because we can't. My nightmare is when we run out of our favorite snacks and my son finally gets frustrated with the whole situation. He's incredibly patient for a 16 year old so when he runs out of patience, I have to dig deep and find a way to get to the store. My parents always offer to pick things up for me but they're 76 and 80 and there is no way I'm going to push them when I can still move a little. I have plans for tomorrow that involve getting my house payment modified so I really need to get it done and I need to deposit a check so I can pay a few of these way over due doctor bills. Of course, you know the saying. All you have to do to make God laugh is to tell him you have plans!

My mom is pushing me to try to get a scholarship to the YMCA and while it sounds like a great idea on the surface, I have a really strong feeling that if I got it, I really wouldn't do much with it. I don't know how you guys are, but I hate extreme temperatures and the two things I've been told would help, the pool and hot tub, are as extreme as they get. I thought about the weights, though. I have really gotten weak and if I start out low, maybe I can build some strength and have more days like today.

My malar rash is crazy these days, though. I guess it's the store lights, plus I forget to put on my sunscreen. It's so uncomfortable,I think I'll start to remember! The other yucky thing is the hair loss. I'm used to to it coming out in my hands but I had a ton in my comb yesterday. I need to go see my pcp to get his backing on the Lupus but the fight has just gone out of me. I'm not in denial but it's tiresome to fight over ANA scores. Eventually, something will come up and it will be too obvious to overlook. I just hope it's not renal failure.

Hope you all are having some good days, too. Take care.
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  1. SandyR's Avatar
    I hate extreme temperatures too but cold is what kills me most. I am so glad to hear you had a good day too. I do the same thing - wake up feeling great and push that to the outer limits. I hope you are still feeling good.
  2. serand4's Avatar
    Thanks Sandy! I actually am still feeling good. I have three solid days of clear thinking and I've gotten a lot of things accomplished that desperately needed to get done. My only problem is falling. Out of no where, I've fallen twice. I'm hoping it's the dizzy part of Lupus and not MS. I REALLY do not have the patience for another serious illness! (Though God bless you out there who deal with this right now.)

    Here's hoping for a few more good days! We have the weekend coming up and I would really like to do something besides break promises to my son that we'll do something!