by, 09-23-2010 at 11:18 AM (445 Views)
I have a lot more strength today. I actually managed to get out of bed early and get some paperwork done and make a few calls instead of putting it off until the last minute. I have just been so drained since the colonoscopy last week. I told the Dr. that I wasn't strong enough but since I had some major bleeding he wanted it done right away. I saw his side of the situation but I'm telling you, when you know you're too weak, go with your gut. It took me four days to get enough strength to even shower after all the prep and the procedure. Fortunately, there was no problem so that's really good and the whole thing is over but I'm totally going with my gut in the future.
I have been so weak lately. I've never been a sit around type of person but the simplest things that I do seem to take such a toll. I'm going to go through other people's blogs and messages and get a feel for how they feel and deal with this. I've had to let my son down so many times lately and I've never done that. If I promised something, I delivered. Now I don't promise anymore and if I'm having a good day, I take full advantage even though I know I'll be exhausted the next day.
I'm working at getting disability. My doctors are backing me 100% so hopefully it will go through the first time instead of waiting for a court date on appeal. If that happens I will most likely lose my home and have to live with my parents again. That's a rough idea since I've lived in this home for 20 years and always have taken care of myself. Then again, they could use my help and I certainly can use theirs. I have to leave this one in the hands of God and hope I can handle his decision.
My primary doctor has been incredibly supportive. I'm not used to having a good doctor as any of my fellow fibro suffers know that most them think our illness is all in our mind and we're just out to get narcotics. He's also very strict with me regarding the Lupus. Since I was diagnosed in June there have been endless health issues -- some related to Lupus, some related to the Prednisone. My other issue is with the plaquenil, I'll take for several days and then I start up with bronchitus. Then I go off the Plaquenil, get a break and then go back on. My doctor really emphasized that I have to take my meds consistently or I will definitely get quite sick, and probably pretty fast considering all that's happened in the past two months. But it does seem like Lupus is this fast moving train that wants to run me over so I'm trying very hard to stay on the medication.
Also, it seems like my vision is deteriating. I will check around and see if others have this issue. I also find that I drop things A LOT lately. I swear, one day I wanted to just sit down, fold my hands and give up! Everything I touched seemed fall out of my hands for no reason. Thank goodness I didn't break anything!
Well, I'm off to shower and get ready to hit the Cummidin clinic and then do some much needed grocery shopping. My son will be thrilled since we've been out of soda for a couple of days and you'd think I cut off his oxygen!