by, 01-03-2010 at 09:55 AM (562 Views)
Okay in need to vent.
So I work with the same person pretty much every shift for 24 hours, it's like having a second family. Anyway I work with a male, so it's like having a work husband without the benefits, lol. Anyway we get to know each other's sleeping habits, eating habits, habits in general and such. Well he tells me the other day that he thinks I'm a hypochondriac. This almost brought me to tears. I wasn't even complaining of anything! I feel like I am sometimes which is the sad part. I don't tell a lot of people about the Lupus due to me not wanting them to look at me like I'm diseased. I called my boyfriend and he said "well did you tell him about the Lupus? does he know how it affects you?" Yes I told him about it, he just doesn't get it. A lot of people don't get it. URG!
So then, on top of that, I haven't been sleeping well. I wake up every night several times a night. My body is stiff and I can't get comfortable. My leg falls asleep from just laying down or my arm falls asleep from positioning it weird. When I get up in the mornings my body is so stiff it hurts just to walk. I'M ONLY 23 FOR GOD'S SAKE! What the hell am I supposed to do when I turn 50? I'm on the Plaquenil and Mobic which has really calmed down my other symptoms, such as hives and hypersensitivity to a lot of things, but I still hurt so badly. I was on the steroids for a week, the meth pack, and that seemed to help for about a week after I came off of it, but then it felt like I got worse. The doc said if I felt like I was getting worse then he'd start me on the low dose chemotherapy. I might try to talk him into putting me on low dose daily steroids to begin with.
Somebody said to me the other day that I looked dead. That's an awesome thing you want to hear, especially since I'm young and I want to look pretty for my boyfriend and I want to look good when we go out and when we're in Vegas. I'm young, I have youth going for me. This sucks.