Emotional mess

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Well its been 6 weeks since I lost my 2nd pregnancy, my beautiful angel Jedaiah Alexander Bland. I still miss him more than words can express. There are times when I just can't hold back the tears. I don't want to cry anymore, I am tired. I am ready to try again but that might just be me being selfish. I want a baby of my own. My brothers wife just gave birth to my first nephew and he is so precious. I miss my mom, she came to visit for 3 weeks when my nephew was born but she has returned home. I wish she could move down here with us, money is always an issue one way or another. I've been digging myself into debt trying to feel better about myself....I should stop. I need to pray. This is not the life I wanted. I am tired. I want to move forward get past this emotional mess. Where do I start? How will it end? It's amazing how one hurt can remind you of all the pain you've ever had. Let go Natasha, Let God. I love my husband more than life itself. I want to be better for him. I need to feel better for me.
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  1. Angel Oliver's Avatar
    Oh my heart hurt reading this post and im sending you gentle hugs.Grieving is a very slow process,each person is different in how they react.You cry when you need too,keeping it in will just make you feel even sadder. What a loss! Hopefully one day,you will be able to try again,but you need to rest and yes stop spending.I know its your realease,but its only gonna give you stress you dont need.
    You keep posting,ask us questions,just tell us how you feel...maybe in Lauri's lounge,as people dont look at blogs as often as the thread pages.We will all support you and help you through this.
    You heart is breaking.I too wish you lived closer to your mum,but instead we'll all gather round you and try and comfort you.You are not alone!
    lots of love Amanda.xxxxxxxxxxxxx