by, 07-10-2009 at 09:23 PM (895 Views)
Well its been 6 weeks since I lost my 2nd pregnancy, my beautiful angel Jedaiah Alexander Bland. I still miss him more than words can express. There are times when I just can't hold back the tears. I don't want to cry anymore, I am tired. I am ready to try again but that might just be me being selfish. I want a baby of my own. My brothers wife just gave birth to my first nephew and he is so precious. I miss my mom, she came to visit for 3 weeks when my nephew was born but she has returned home. I wish she could move down here with us, money is always an issue one way or another. I've been digging myself into debt trying to feel better about myself....I should stop. I need to pray. This is not the life I wanted. I am tired. I want to move forward get past this emotional mess. Where do I start? How will it end? It's amazing how one hurt can remind you of all the pain you've ever had. Let go Natasha, Let God. I love my husband more than life itself. I want to be better for him. I need to feel better for me.