The light bulb turned on...
by, 05-27-2009 at 02:40 AM (954 Views)
Yes, the bulb suddenly shone very brightly.
I have been diagnosed with SLE. Thats depressing. For a long time, even very recently, I was in denial. Maybe the experts got it wrong?? Surely this is all just in my imagination? I could think of a hundred other reasons for symptoms I was experiencing! Rash? Nah.. just a bit too much sun. Unexplained bruising? Must have bumped myself. Pain.. yeah well I am getting older. There is a justifiable reason to explain them all away. Hmm.. they just keep coming dont they!
I didnt tell my friends. I didnt tell my kids. But they knew something was up. Not really fair.. they were imagining the worst. How selfish I was. They care about me and I shut them out. Bless their little hearts, my kids (of which there are three delightful boys!!) thought they could make mum's tears disappear with a cup of tea
So, eventually, I did come clean. I told my innocent babies what the problem was. Initial panic but then a gentle calm. They gave me back my positive outlook. They were my little shining lights at the end of the tunnel.
I dont have a partner. That's hard. No-one to 'bounce' off. No-one to discuss. No-one understands. Or so I thought. This site is full of people who understand. Some have contacted me with their own stories and they DO UNDERSTAND!!!
My philosophy: What will be will be. A positive outlook can foil the most intimidating things in life. Be brave, Wendy, I keep telling myself. There are people who care.