So the holiday I've been planning for the past 6 months is finally happening this weekend when I head off to Europe. I was starting to get so excited until I started to think about all the little things I need to do to be organised. I've been experiencing the brain fog quite badly over the past few months but these past few weeks it has become very detrimental to my cause. My partner has been telling me for weeks to organise travel insurance which I thought was as easy as heading to my private health
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]
What a great day to start anew. Happy Easter to all who believe.
It seems as if everyday I say "Okay, today is the day I will eat better, be nicer to people, exercise, take all my meds, blah blah blah. "
But then I hurt and when I hurt I have so little patience for others. When I'm tired and someone whines about how they went to bed late and now their tired I want to SCREAM and tell them what TIRED really feels like.
It is days like today that remind me over that I do have lupus. It is very much apart of my life now as everything else. A constant reminder that I do have to remind myself things arent how they use to be. I had a very long and hectic day. A hectic week. Today, after playing and watching a 2 year old for a few hours (which was the least taxing out of everything) I went to get my tires replaced on my car after discovering that they were in very bad shape. As I am sitting in the tire place waiting
Since being diagnosed with SLE last year I've found myself feeling relatively lucky. Not the most common reaction to a diagnosis such as this but its true...In May 2010 I started to get some strange pains in my hands and sore fingertips. A colleague I worked with at the time said to me out of the blue "maybe you have lupus, a friend of mine has it and that's how her's started". I basically shrugged it off but as the pain started to come more often I went to the docs. Got tested for RA,
I mourn races not run because it hurt too much
I mourn time not spent with my kids because the meds knocked me out
I mourn the loss of freedom to do the simplest of things like toss a frisbee for my dog
I mourn being too tired to stand up for myself when others were belligerent and arguementive
I mourn losing the "best years of my life" to sickness
I mourn life unlived