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  1. Feeling good!

    Since being diagnosed with SLE last year I've found myself feeling relatively lucky. Not the most common reaction to a diagnosis such as this but its true...In May 2010 I started to get some strange pains in my hands and sore fingertips. A colleague I worked with at the time said to me out of the blue "maybe you have lupus, a friend of mine has it and that's how her's started". I basically shrugged it off but as the pain started to come more often I went to the docs. Got tested for RA, ...
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  2. I Mourn

    I mourn races not run because it hurt too much

    I mourn time not spent with my kids because the meds knocked me out

    I mourn the loss of freedom to do the simplest of things like toss a frisbee for my dog

    I mourn being too tired to stand up for myself when others were belligerent and arguementive

    I mourn losing the "best years of my life" to sickness

    I mourn life unlived
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  3. I wanted to see something that's different...

    Nothing seems to go as planned. Sometimes that is good, sometimes not so much. I find myself faced with this more and more as life goes forward. I'm still expected to function at a normal level even though my body doesn't always want to. I can't plan for the days I will feel good, I have to take it as it comes. Deal with the bad days as they come. I can't plan for them. I can't expect them, when I think I'll have a good day it isn't always the day i think it will be. I have been struggling with ...
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  4. I just don't know........

    I just don't know if it's the progressive nature of the disease, the fact that I'm now in my sixties or just that I'm back to my usual state of bronchitis. But I've been down and almost out this time around. I'm struggling, I can't seem to pull it together and do like I used to. I feel like my family is getting tired of dealing with this. They seem to want the old me back. I want the ole me back. I want to lose the weight and exercise again. It really makes me feel better. But I can't seem ...
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  5. Just a tough day

    I have to admit that I'm getting tired of the progressive nature of this disease. Months ago it was all about the rash on my face and then the endless fact-finding mission to figure out what I'm dealing with. Now, several months later, many hospitalizations and doctors appts later, I wish I was just back to the red face! Forgive me for the rant, but here it comes...

    I am so tired of being tired! For a couple of years it was just going back to bed in the morning after my son was ...
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