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  1. There are good things too

    As I have read back over what I have told you about myself I realize that I haven't said anything about the good things. Maybe, sometimes, I need to remind myself about the good things. So here it goes:
    I have a 16 year old daughter who is very smart, beautiful, and musically talented. We share a very close relationship that may not have developed so well if I hadn't gotten sick, it brought us closer. I don't lie to her about the realities and she trusts me enough to share everything with ...
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  2. my journey

    In about 2002 I started getting migraine headaches, and occasoinally my hands would just become to painful to use. The headaches could last for days, but the hand thing would come on suddenly and be better by morning. They did an MRI and told me it was normal and the headaches must be from stress. Over the next couple years I began to develop frequent kidney and bladder infections, plueresy, back pain. The doctors would treat whatever condition I had and didn't seem to think there was any underlying ...
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  3. Sometimes it's time to cry

    I was raised not to cry. My mom is a beautiful person and very caring and loving but crying always freaked her out and she'd do everything in her power to make us stop. A therapist once told me it was because it was something she was powerless over and couldn't make us feel better so not crying made her feel like she had healed the pain. As I've grown and had a child of my own, I've made it very clear that crying is extremely okay in my house! I think tears are God's version of pain pills -- ...
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  4. trying for a baby

    Ive had lupus for 11 years, just turned 25 on monday and have been thinkin about starting a family, everytime I ask the doc, I'm always told that it would be very difficult for both me and the baby and could probably make my health a lot worse than it is. I really dont want lupus to dictate this part of my life, it has dictated everyother aspect of my life, I used to be a sporty child and had my life mapped out all I ever wanted to do is join the police and have kids, obv i cant join the police ...
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  5. It's a beautiful Fall day

    I may not be able to go sit in the sun but it sure is nice to open all the windows in the house and smell fresh air and watch the leaves fall from the trees. Naturally, I wish I could be out raking and trimming the tree branches but I just figure that maybe next year I can do a bit more. My son is out with his "Big Brother" doing fun things so I can indulge in a very lazy day. I took a shower and did my makeup and that may be the biggest accomplishments I make today!

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