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  1. Too much to bare

    I am not frantic anymore or fighting to find the answer to all the questions about Lupus. Perhaps the best way to describe my feelings are, "I give up." I'm worn out from fighting with the doctors and waiting on the blood tests. I'm exhausted from trying to explain a condition to people who don't even believe I have the condition. I have no way to move things along when it comes to disability so I'll probably end up living with my parents. I love them but the blend of their family ...
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  2. Month 3 (week1)

    by , 12-06-2010 at 12:27 AM (Journey to my first half marathon.)
    ive had a bir of a layoff of late, lazy, busy whatever .

    but today starts a new chapter, running for two minutes, walking for one. Going to be tough, im a complete newbie. only thing that keeps me goin is by next year march im going to run my first 5km marathon. Above all else, this is top priority for me. so heres too a new week
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  3. God's will

    I'm not a fluid writer anymore and there is so little advice can offer advice with any authority. I often wonder what I would be like in a work setting. Would I be that woman that drives everyone crazy? You and I know her/him. Always the know it all but seldom correct. Anymore I don't jump into conversations because even if I'm certain of the topic, I won't get the full sentence out before I forget what I was saying. Today my son was reliving one of our favorite programs that was just on last ...
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  4. Mood floods

    I swear, today has been one huge tidal way washing back and forth like water in a bathtub! I woke up this morning and felt pretty good. I didn't have any particular desire to go back to bed which is a first in many, many months. I was hungry, which is not new but I didn't choke on anything and that's new. Eventually I did wear out and went to bed. I woke up to a message from my mom that said, "oh, I suppose you're still sleeping..." I shouldn't be sensitive about this. She wasn't ...
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  5. Strange, strange, strange

    This whole mess, Lupus or whatever it is, just has to be the most confusing, confounding and downright troubling syndrom there is! First I'm diagnosed with it, now when the Plaquenil starts to work I'm told I don't have it. Oh, and let's not forget the diagnosis of Shrinking Lung Syndrom where the doctor flipped out when my rheum suddenly decided I didn't have Lupus. It was as if I conjured up this huge lie that encompassed the oxygen intake tests and everything. Oh come on!

    So, ...
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