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  1. I can't remember when the earth turned slowly...

    Don't you ever wish you could just paused life? Just for s little bit, to catch up, to have the moments that you wish for. To just stop reality for a little while so it's not constantly shoved in your face making you think about it. I just want to have a moment when I'm not thinking about this or that every single day. I'm wishing for this moments more and more as the months go on. I just want a holiday from real for awhile. Just a moment to breathe. It seems like the time has just passed by the ...
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  2. First entry..

    I find myself lost sometimes. Like I don't know where my life is going from here. Things can be so stressful sometimes that it's hard to deal with. I've always been an upbeat person. I've never really had very many health issues. I was a ballet dancer for 11 years. I went all around the country for competitions and dance festivals. I had a very active teenage life, I was independent and confident. I fell in love at 19 and found the love of my life. We moved into together a year later to my parents ...
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  3. not feeling good :(

    I feel achey, fluish like..may be a shower will help.
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  4. So much better right now

    I can't believe how black and white some of these lupus days are. You can be in the pit of dispair and pain one day and then wake up and feel like hitting the mall. Okay, the mall part is really rare, but it does happen. A couple of nights ago I made a decision to start going to bed at a very specific time (earlier) and then when I wake up, focus on that day and that day only. The AA approach of one day at a time, one minute at a time when necessary. Grant it, it is only day two but both have ...
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  5. Too long but needed to vent

    Wow, it has been such a hard month! I don't know if it's winter and the cold or if my body is cycling for another huge flare. I have been in so much pain!! And, of course, there's the swelling around the joints and my eyes. I've known without a doubt that I have Lupus for months but if there was any doubt, it's completely gone. The Reynauds and the Sjourns just nag. I know I sound like a constant downer but this is pretty much the only place I let it all out. I hate all the medication and ...
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