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  1. Sometimes it's time to cry

    I was raised not to cry. My mom is a beautiful person and very caring and loving but crying always freaked her out and she'd do everything in her power to make us stop. A therapist once told me it was because it was something she was powerless over and couldn't make us feel better so not crying made her feel like she had healed the pain. As I've grown and had a child of my own, I've made it very clear that crying is extremely okay in my house! I think tears are God's version of pain pills -- ...
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  2. It's a beautiful Fall day

    I may not be able to go sit in the sun but it sure is nice to open all the windows in the house and smell fresh air and watch the leaves fall from the trees. Naturally, I wish I could be out raking and trimming the tree branches but I just figure that maybe next year I can do a bit more. My son is out with his "Big Brother" doing fun things so I can indulge in a very lazy day. I took a shower and did my makeup and that may be the biggest accomplishments I make today!

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  3. Heaven can turn to hell!

    I haven't been out of the house for anything other than doctor's appointments or groceries in well over a month. My poor son, who was accustomed to doing something fun every weekend and running our errands during the evenings when I got home from work, has really had to deal with big changes in our world. It was like I was diagnosed with Lupus in June and it's been one big roller coaster of hospital stays and me being too weak to do much more than just basics ever since. Anyway, I just got out ...
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  4. The Purple arms are back!

    Yep, another trip to the hospital. I really think I should have a room on reserve there! I started throwing up blood on Saturday night. I can't tell you how many people asked why I was throwing up blood. Well, if I knew how not to, I'd certainly go with that alternative! I started having this unbelievable pain in my stomach and pretty soon I was in big trouble. I was going to wait until the next day to go to the ER. I wasn't losing that much blood but my son said either I go or he was calling ...
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  5. Makin' me dizzy, my head is spinning...

    Wow, dizzy day today! Everyday is something new! I'm trying really hard to cut down on my pain meds since my pain seems to be more under control right now so maybe that's what's up. I've read that dizzy is part of Lupus so maybe that's it. I've stopped asking and started to just started to accept. Fortunately it's pretty much limited to when I'm walking around so I can still drive and get to all the wonderful Dr.'s appt. I have.

    Aside from that, I continue to get stronger and ...
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