serand4

  1. Finally lost it

    I have a lot of patience when it comes to my kid. I mean, I've never raised a hand to him and I'm very cautious about the things I say. I one of those big "positive reinforcement" people. With his autism, I've had so much coaching and for the most part, raised a kid who thinks well of himself. But today I lost it.

    We got ten inches of snow here in the Midwest No big deal. I had prepared and we had plenty of food and games and movies. But last night my son bought a ...
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  2. Normal

    Wow, it's the first day I've felt normal in SO long! I have energy and can think. It's the first day in longer than I can remember that I actually really, really wished I was employed and had things to do that required me to think and contribute. Usually I'm too exhausted, regardless of my seemingly endless sleep, to even consider working but today was that mental kick that reminded me of the real life I used to have. I just started on a new antidepressent after I was spending literally 15 hours ...
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  3. Medicine Confusion

    For the past two days the only thought that consistently rings in my head is, "I want my mom." My mom is close by and easily accessible. But when I'm sick and in pain, somehow it seems like she can make me feel better. I've been cutting back on my prednisone significantly and it seems like every decrease in prednisone causes a dramatic increase in the pain of my fibromyalgia. Earlier today all I could think is, "God, please make my lower body go numb." I had forgotten how ...
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  4. Some Normality, Some Insanety

    Overall, it's been an astonishingly great week! I've been lucid and awake - things some people take for granted! I've gone from 30mg of Prednisone to 15mg and it's been surprisingly easy. I'm supposed to be off it sometime soon. I plan to take my time. It's my body and while I'll take your direction, I'm not going to suffer needlessly in the process.

    No one is clear on my diagnosis but I've decided to stop worrying about it. I know it's got to be autoimmune. Every morning I ...
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  5. Finally feel alive again

    I've certainly read all the horrors that go with Prednisone but after trying to reduce it down to 10mg and forcing myself away from the feelings of suicide 90% of the time, the ever-increasing pain and a fatigue that's one step from death, I realized that my quality of life is far too important to dial down the prednisone because it has side effects. As far as I'm concerned, the side effects of not using it are far more intense. Today is the first day in over a week that I felt like I could get ...
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