I think you are one heck of a good writer. It's funny how we can have so much in common with people from such different situations and ages. Here I am, a 41 year old guy, yet I find so much familiarity in many of your words.
I have always been awkward-different. I never fit in, and really never wanted to. I chose to create my own way of being and let people join MY group instead. The only requirement, was that you had to be unique, had to be your own person. As such, most of my friends over the years have been others who didn't quite fit in either. Many have had physical and/or mental disabilities or issues. So called "normal" people can be boring, but those who are labeled "weird", tend to be the most interesting people in life!
I understand your views on religion too. I don't know what's out there. Is there an afterlife, or do we just cease to exist after we are gone. I want very much to believe in a higher power, but at this point in my life, I honestly don't. So, I call myself an Agnostic. I hope there is something, but I haven't found it yet.
About hate-it does nothing but eat a person up inside. I've had hatred in my life, both directed towards me, and from me towards others. I can't control what others do and think, so I just take care of myself. Sometimes, hatred can seem justified. I had a lifelong friend who was killed in action in Iraq two years ago. I have terrible hatred of those who killed him. I struggle with it because I know that's not the way I want to be. There is too much hate in this world.
Your friend Allen sounds like an amazing, unique individual who is a friend for life. Good friends don't just appear out of the blue every day. Best friends are a rare thing, something to cherish and protect.
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading your first blog entry. I look forward to reading more in the future!
Love n hugs Amanda.xx