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ritzbit
05-04-2011, 08:42 AM
I have been having the worst month or two. First being sick. Then the stress of trying to catch up after being sick, even though I am still sick and everyone wants to act like just because I've got it under control I should be feeling so much better. I'm still tired all the time. I've been getting bad headaches, probably partially from all the stress. My stomach has been killing me on and off. I've been really depressed. And no one cares about all those things, they care that my blood work looks better and that my medicine is working. I am too tired once I get home to want to do anything after spending 7 hours at school. I have been trying to get caught up in my work but only have some things done and then bits and pieces of other stuff done. Everyone keeps reminding me Im still failing like I dont already know that; reminding me just stresses me out more and causes a fight. Everyone keeps giving me "suck it up and just get stuff done" like they dont understand at all what I'm still feeling like. My teacher told me today that she is not going to give me anymore time to get this one assignment done because I've had over a month, even though its the only assignment I'm still missing and it was something I couldnt do at home and the computers were running slow at school the last two times I tried to get it done. It wasn't like I wasn't trying. And she kept saying that the 504 plan they made for me didn't apply to any of my old work from when I was absent, even though it does so I left her class and went to go talk to my counselor and she said well if she's given you all that time already what do you want me to do? I would like someone to say that wow you've actually been getting alot of your work done for missing almost a month of school and still feeling like complete shit. But instead I'm being told by my mother and family how lazy I am and how I do nothing and being told by my school that I'm still behind and not being given more time to make things up. I'm failing english and math and have a C in spanish, which is the class I have been working the hardest with because she has been the one being up my butt to get things in. So if I dont get my english work in soon I will fail that and then what, not graduate in less than a month? I have to have certain grades in my classes to get the diploma that Im getting that I have been taking classes the past 4 years to get. If I dont get it I wont even go to my graduation. I have not worked hard and been trying, even if its not as much as everyone expects, to get things done. I dont know what to do everyone seems to be sick of helping me. I don't know why I even bother coming to school anymore because it all just seems like a waste. I end up getting frustrated and crying like I am right now because I have nowhere left to turn with everything. I really dont know what to do...

tgal
05-04-2011, 12:40 PM
Ritz,

Did you ever get wit the counselor? We have a young man here that is ill and the requirements for him are not the same because of his illness. I know it has been suggested before but I was wondering if you ever got with her.

ritzbit
05-04-2011, 12:51 PM
I did. And I went to her today. And she basically said what do you want me to do about it. I hate everything.

Gizmo
05-04-2011, 06:01 PM
Ritzbit,
I am new to the forum, but my heart really goes out to you. My daughter really struggled to get through high school because she has a lot of health problems - and it didn't take much to make her too sick to go to class. She is graduating this month, but actually finished a semester late - in December. Fortunately for her, most of her teachers and counselors were very supportive, even though some of her teachers ignored her 504 and wouldn't let her make stuff up. The big thing that made high school work for her was going part time, and taking a few online classes (which she hated).

I don't know your full situation, so I am blindly going to throw some ideas out there for you to chew on: 1) Talk to your doctor(s) and see if they are willing to write a letter to the school or work with the school nurse to help you. 2) Legally the school must follow the accommodations on your 504 plan. Who was at the meeting where that was written? Talk to them, with the 504 in front of you if you have it. Be ready with specific examples of how it is not being followed. Use teacher's names and have specific assignments that they didn't let you make up. Try to get your mom or dad or another trusted adult to go with you. 3) Give yourself credit for the effort you are putting into school - even if no one else is. You will find a way to get through this, even if you have to take it one minute, one problem, one class period at a time. 4) If the worst happens and you don't get to walk at graduation (my daughter didn't get to graduate with her class) it will stink and you will feel really bad - but you will survive, and graduate and move on to the next phase of your life. In the meantime, keep fighting like crazy to wear that cap and gown. If you do get to walk, it will be a sweet walk indeed. I'm rooting for you, Ritzbit, and so is my daughter! Please let me know how it's going.

ritzbit
05-05-2011, 03:46 PM
None of my teachers are giving me anymore time on anything and are taking off points on anything I do get to them from here on out. I get home and want to sleep. And then wake up and still feel tired. And then I go to school and try to get my homework done, and only get it done in pieces. How am I supposed to win like that? I guess I'm just going to fail my senior year and at this point I really dont care because its not like Im going anywhere.

Gizmo
05-05-2011, 10:24 PM
I don't understand teachers who make it hard for kids to succeed. You would think they would WANT you to graduate, not punish you. If you focus on getting everything in on time from this point forward, would your grades be high enough to pass (even with the missing assignments)? If you want to see what your legal rights are, check out this link: www.wrightslaw.com Do a search for "504 plans and illness".

Don't give up on yourself! If you can't graduate this semester, don't beat yourself up - but don't throw in the towel, either.

rob
05-06-2011, 04:09 AM
Hi Ritz,

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I know what it's like to be in your shoes, and I know what it's like to be overwhelmed. I did a little reading about 504 plans, and I found this information about how to report and deal with a violation of a 504 plan-

http://specialchildren.about.com/od/504s/ht/504violation.htm

People can sometimes fixate on what a person has not yet accomplished, rather than what they have. Surely after nearly 4 years of High School your teachers can be flexible enough to give you a little more time to complete all of your assignments and earn your diploma. A teachers goal, I would hope, would be like that of a Drill Sgt. when you join the military. The Drill Sgt's job is to push you to your limits, and be pretty hard on you, but their job isn't to flunk you. Their job is to qualify and then graduate as many new soldiers as they can. They do whatever it takes to help you succeed. And likewise, a teacher's job is to help ALL students, disabled or not, to ultimately in the end earn their diploma. Lupus is so unpredictable that I would think that a 504 plan would allow for that. These teachers should know this, and they should help you.

Gizmo had a great suggestion about taking a trusted adult with you to act as an advocate, or a go between for you. Is there anyone who could do this for you?

Rob

ritzbit
05-06-2011, 06:07 AM
Even my mom just feels like Im not doing anything. I dont have anything left for help. My 504 plan says teachers "may give more than 2 weeks to make up my work" and since its been a month everyone is getting all mad saying I havent done like anything when I have, but I just have parts of stuff done so I havent turned them in. So my mom said I should just give them what I have so they'll see I have been doing stuff, "if I really have". I feel like everyone is doubting that Im doing stuff but for awhile I was having a hard time keeping up with regular work once I came back and the make up work. Thats why the work from a month ago still isnt done because I thought I'd be getting a lot of time for that and thought they would be taking off for late work from since I've been back. I dont know if I made sense trying to explain that....lol but I kind of just want to give up. I dont want to keep fighting for stuff when I only have until the 26th this month and then Im done. Why bother?

steve.b
05-06-2011, 06:27 AM
you bother, because you want to graduate.

you bother, because you have self pride.

you bother, so you can go to uni.

you bother because you are you.

i am sorry you are doing it tough, it may seem unfair, .... unjust.
but you can only do what you can do.

do your best, and keep your counsellor informed.
show your counsellor what you have part completed.
show her that you are trying, and ask her to help you explain that to your teachers.

SandyR
05-06-2011, 09:05 AM
you bother, because you want to graduate.

you bother, because you have self pride.

you bother, so you can go to uni.

you bother because you are you.

i am sorry you are doing it tough, it may seem unfair, .... unjust.
but you can only do what you can do.

do your best, and keep your counsellor informed.
show your counsellor what you have part completed.
show her that you are trying, and ask her to help you explain that to your teachers.

You bother because it is your right to be treated fairly under the law and to be given a proper education with the mandates in place by your state in regards to accomodations and extensions due to the nature of the circumstances involving your personal disability (I use that term loosely) referring specifically to your health and because once you are at college this record of assistance will help you to advocate for further assistance at the private institute level which is not held to the same state mandated standards as the public schools are and so that others who follow behind you in your footsteps are able to walk the path with ease and grace and are not led to jump off a cliff like a lamb to slaughter the way you are finding yourself led right now.

Gizmo
05-06-2011, 01:38 PM
It makes sense to me that you would focus on getting your current work in on time, since you are in school and don't "have an excuse" for it being late. Your mom has a good point about taking in what you HAVE gotten done to show your teachers that you are making the effort. My daughter got into that bind, too - it took every bit of energy she had to keep up, and if she missed classes it was really hard to get caught up AND stay current once she went back.

I know that as a mom there have been times when I wondered if my daughter was really giving it her best shot or if she was depressed/giving up. It's especially hard when doctors don't know what's wrong. When doctors don't know what's wrong and you are a teenage girl having trouble with school they blame your illness on school avoidance, stress, depression, anxiety... I feel bad because sometimes I didn't totally believe that my daughter was as sick as she said she was. Your mom is probably very much on your side, but she's probably also confused, frustrated, scared and feels powerless to help her precious daughter.

I'll be out of touch for a week, but am looking forward to hearing about how this all works out for you, Ritzbit. Take care of yourself.

ritzbit
05-06-2011, 03:34 PM
My last day of high school is in 2 weeks. My last AP test is next week and then I just dont feel like doing anything after that. Im trying but everyone just doesnt get how I feel both physically and emotionally. Im so drained. And feel like I've just been kicked over and over again. My stomachs in KNOTS. Hurts so bad and keep having to run off to the bathroom. I think my recent stress is only making it worse and the medicine my doctor just gave me isn't helping at all. My next therapy appointment isn't until the 16th and I really just need to talk to someone face to face who is actually going to listen. If I didnt have WHL to go to I think I would have made some really bad decisions in the past week. I've been an emotional wreck.... Thanks everyone who's been there for me recently you dont know how much it means to me. I've been about to go off the deep end..

Linda From Australia
05-06-2011, 06:29 PM
Though I teach 6th grade kids, I have at times had kids who have problems submitting work for different reasons. This is the advice I give them:

Submit what you have completed - then I can check what has been done and what hasn't been done. We then sit down together and work out what is important and what is not important. I tell the student exactly what needs to be done, each night in order to secure a pass mark. I also draw up a plan in their diary so they can follow it.

I know that it is possibly a bit easier to work with kids in 6th grade because I teach most of their subject, and it is a bit harder for you because you have so many teachers. Make official appointments through the school admin staff to see your teachers, and take someone you trust with you so they can advocate for you when you feel overwhelmed or emotional.

I suppose there are many options you can consider:

1. Complete the minimun of work to get a pass mark in order to graduate
2. Take the rest of the time off to recover and start over again next semester, graduating later
3. Speak to your teachers and have a plan to follow, bust your guts to complete everything in time - then have a huge burn out at the end of the due dates
4. Speak to your teachers and have a plan to follow, take time off and study at home in time to graduate
5. Postpone going to uni for when you feel better.

There are many ways to graduate. You have to decide whether you want to graduate with your class or with another class. If you want to graduate with your own class, there are things that need to be completed. But it makes things a bit easier to cope with if you have the support of your teachers. It is going to be tough for you over the next few weeks, but you need to make some decisions, and feel good about them. You are just going to make yourself sicker if you stress about it. Try and listen to some of your favourite music if you feel yourself tensing up. Take some time out (even if it is only 3 minutes) just to get yourself together to continue with a difficult task.

This will be an excellent time for you to work on some relaxation techniques, especially if you are considering going to uni.

ritzbit
05-09-2011, 01:00 PM
Two more days until my last AP class and then Im dont more or less. Wish me luck!

Gizmo
05-15-2011, 06:43 PM
Just got back in town. How did things go with your classes and AP tests?

ritzbit
05-16-2011, 06:08 AM
As good as can be expected. I got most of my stuff turned in so Im hoping that Im at least passing now. If not I've decided that I dont really care because I actually have all the credits I need to graduate and they said that as long as my grades in my classes all year average out to C's, which I would hope they would, then I would still get the diploma I've been working for. All my tests are over now and my last day of school is the 26th. Only 7 more school days left. Thank god.

Gizmo
05-16-2011, 06:28 AM
That is WONDERFUL news! Congratulations!!! Will you walk at graduation? I hope you celebrate your incredible achievement. My daughter could walk at graduation next week, but we thought she would be in college this semester, so we didn't pre-purchase the cap and gown and everything. We just went to her sister's college graduation on Saturday. Her sister graduated magna cum laude, with honors and got a Fulbright scholarship to study in Germany for a year. It was really hard to see the difference disease made in my 2 daughter's lives. One got awards and honors out the wazoo and the other never even got to walk at her high school graduation.
My point is that you should really enjoy this sweet victory. It was hard-won and not everyone has the opportunity to do it. I am SO sorry that my daughter isn't going through the ceremony.