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ritzbit
03-20-2011, 12:36 PM
So I've missed around 2 weeks of school and have all this homework piling up but everytime I go to try to do it I cant even concentrate long enough to get anything done. I look at it and feel stupid because I don't understand what Im reading and have to read it multiple times when normally I would just have to read through once. I dont comprehend any of the book I'm reading for English, and Spanish? lol thats out of the question. I dont even understand the directions. Its really frustrating becaues its taking a lot more out of me than usual trying to get any of my homework done, and it doesnt help that Im two weeks behind. Suggestions?

debbie-b
03-20-2011, 03:16 PM
Oh honey,

I do understand, I have a very physical, fast pace job, which I really can't do anymore ( sometimes I go to the bathroom and cry, because of pain and exhaustion). But because of the brain fog I can't get a new job. How am I going to learn everything about a new job, if I can't even remember my phone number some days or the names of my coworkers?
I don't have any suggestions for you, but I know what you are talking about.
Good luck Ritz.

Debbie

ritzbit
03-20-2011, 03:44 PM
Thanks. I dont know how to attempt to explain that to my teachers. I feel like they're going to think Im coming up with excuses for getting almost nothing done when I havent been to school in almost 2 weeks, other than that one day. I just cant do it and get frustrated and know that Im not getting anything out of it so I give up. Im not learning anything, and all this stuff I used to know like verb tenses in spanish have just gone out the window. I couldnt tell you what the first ten pages of this book Im reading in English were even about, much less can I analyze it for deeper meaning and symbolism and all that kind of stuff. My brain feels like mush and its driving me crazy because Im in all these hard classes and Im falling really far behind. I dont know what to do. =(

magistramarla
03-20-2011, 09:30 PM
Ritz,
Go talk to your counselor and tell her exactly what you just told us. If I were you, I'd print this page out and show it to her.
Then, ask her to go with you to visit each one of your teachers to help you explain it to them. Once they understand what is going on and that you really want to do the work, but just need some extra help and time to do it, they should be willing to schedule some tutoring for you.

I had a student who was dealing with multiple illnesses and surgeries. She was like you - a brilliant girl who took AP classes, but was stuck in a weakened body.
The district put her into a Homebound program for a while. I and some of her other teachers agreed to go to her home for tutoring sessions until we got her caught up.
It helped her, and the district paid me extra to do it. Ask your counselor if this is possible in your district.

I'm rooting for you, sweetie. I know that you can do it. You feel overwhelmed right now, but just tackle it one piece at a time.
Hugs and love,
Marla

steve.b
03-21-2011, 04:49 AM
i also know how it feels.
i gave up work and started on a pension, maily bercause of brain fog.
i earn less in 2 weeks than i used to make in 1 day.

it is never easy, but marla has a good idea.
try it ............... they might just understand.

thinking of you

ritzbit
03-21-2011, 05:38 AM
I emailed her basically what I said on here and asked her if she could have me come down to talk to her today. My nerves are shot I didnt get any sleep last night =( Last week I wanted to go back and today Im just dreading it because when I went that one day last week I realized how far behind I was in everything and I literally sat there in each class and had NO IDEA what we were talking about. And my spanish teacher was kind of making me mad because she kept saying things to me, in spanish, and I had to keep asking her to repeat what she said because I had no idea what she was saying and she kept asking "well dont you remember __?" fill in the blank. She told me what time I could leave for lunch because she was letting me go early so I could get down there in time and I had no idea what she said and she said "dont you remember your numbers? tell me what I just said" and this was in front of the class. And it took me forever and I felt stupid because thats something that should just come to me but it didnt. Its small annoying things like that that are getting to me right now.

bunny28
03-21-2011, 05:29 PM
I emailed her basically what I said on here and asked her if she could have me come down to talk to her today. My nerves are shot I didnt get any sleep last night =( Last week I wanted to go back and today Im just dreading it because when I went that one day last week I realized how far behind I was in everything and I literally sat there in each class and had NO IDEA what we were talking about. And my spanish teacher was kind of making me mad because she kept saying things to me, in spanish, and I had to keep asking her to repeat what she said because I had no idea what she was saying and she kept asking "well dont you remember __?" fill in the blank. She told me what time I could leave for lunch because she was letting me go early so I could get down there in time and I had no idea what she said and she said "dont you remember your numbers? tell me what I just said" and this was in front of the class. And it took me forever and I felt stupid because thats something that should just come to me but it didnt. Its small annoying things like that that are getting to me right now.

ritzbitz - I am sorry today was so tough. I actually posted in one of your other threads an idea of going in with a note for the teachers that you could just hand them at the beginning of class saying something like "I have been absent for x amount of time due to a medical condition that I would like to discuss with you after class (or whatever time)...or if your counsellor could talk to them say "that my counsellor and I would like to tell you about". Please be patient with me as I am still not back to normal and things like focussing and remembering are tough for me right now. (concentrating works too).

I am a teacher and I know I would appreciate a heads up like this. I don't think your Spanish teacher meant to embarass you today. I suspect she was just frustrated and wasn't sure why you didn't remember/ how she was going to get you caught up. Sometimes teachers can make mistakes too. huge hugs...school is the least of your worries right now..I know it doesn't seem like it but first and foremost you need to look after the health issues and get yourself up to at least a manageable level again. Good luck and hang in there. Use your counsellor if you can to help back you up. Most of your teachers will have no idea what you are going through...YOu are not making excuses, you have a valid medical condition. Take care of yourself.

ritzbit
03-21-2011, 05:41 PM
My teachers know I have lupus but they dont really understand it. They just saw me hobbling around then I wasn't there for a week. I emailed them a few times to let them know I still wouldn't be there and asked for them to send my work up to the office for someone to pick up but thats about the extent of their knowledge. I also told them I had the steroid infusions. I don't like trying to explain it to people because unless they were in my body they wouldnt understand how bad all these "small" things are. My dad doesnt even get it he keeps calling and getting on me to get my school work. He even said to me "why not work on spanish Im sure thats the easiest" I about to scream or hang up on him. He cares WAY to much about my grades. It made me really mad. It was maybe an hour after I was on here talking about how I was struggling most in spanish. Its just really frustrating. The only one who can almost understand is my mom. Its times like these that remind me how much I need her, she is the one who takes me to all my appointments and sticks up for me when my doctor is being stupid. Everyone else wants to blow off my symptoms and she listens. I need more people like that right now.

ritzbit
03-21-2011, 08:13 PM
I just found out I have a quiz tomorrow in my college class. I have friends in that class and have talked to them since the class when he told them and none of them bothered to tell me. More stress. Awesome. I don't even know what its over and he is a jerk and doesnt let you make things up. One of his really stupid rules. I just love failure.. About to rip my hair out.

bunny28
03-22-2011, 06:40 AM
ritzbit - I understand the frustration. I cared a lot about school when I was in it (which was for a long time as I have several college diplomas/university degrees) and still do (lol). Of course your teachers don't understand...heck most of us don't fully understand this disease. Is there a way you could get a doctor's note to express your need for delays? I know explaining it in detail to the teachers would be hard...but rather than explain your exact symptoms, why not give them some information on the disease itself and all of the things it can affect.


I have found many good ressources online including descriptions of the disease/systemic involvement from lupus organizations, the spoon theory and another one which was a list of how this disease affects me. I can't post the one I like as I forgot its source but if I find it again I will. I found it explained so many of the things I think and feel. Maybe you can find something that you can give your teachers that explains it better than you could in words.

As for your quiz, I am sorry to hear it. Just do your best. Sometimes life is really unfair. Do what you havee to do for now and then try to better educate your teachers in the future.

Bunny

ritzbit
03-22-2011, 09:45 AM
Didnt go to school today. Feel very tired. Very down. My heart rate hasn't gone under 130 in two days and I feel shaky still. I try to nap and cant. I take my sleeping medicine and still wake up sweating. I would sleep without covers but then my Raynauds would act up. There is no happy medium for this. I dont even want to go to school. I dont want to do anything. Everything and everyone is getting on my nerves. I feel so whiney.

bunny28
03-23-2011, 05:41 PM
Sorry you felt so awful today. Being whiney is okay..we all need to vent. Hang in there and I hope tomorrow is a better day.

lovehubby
03-23-2011, 06:54 PM
Boy I understand the sleeping part I wake up soaking wet and if I keep my covers off my feet get cold and then they burn with pain it really does suck don't it. Give yourself a big hug ritzbit
Michele

ritzbit
03-23-2011, 06:58 PM
Its so frustrating. I hope taking more of this medicine tonight will at least keep me asleep instead of waking up in a sweat.

magistramarla
03-24-2011, 10:47 AM
Hi Ritz,
Are you feeling any better today? Did you try to go to school?
Give your teachers a chance to hear you out. One or two just might be understanding and will then advocate for you. I shamed a few teachers for giving my student who was dealing with the surgeries a hard time. I also taught a boy who was withdrawn and "druggy" and failed his freshman year. When he came back to repeat the next year, he finally talked to me and I found that he had AVN of the jaw! I had AVN of the knee, so I sat him down and talked to him about it. I advocated for him a lot that year, since his other teachers just thought of him as a drug addict. He was a sweet, intelligent kid who was dealing with a lot of pain. Familiar - huh?

Wow, I know what you mean about the awful sleep. I can predict the times that I wake up every night from the time that I go to sleep - almost exactly every two hours. I'm freezing when I start out, but wake up drenched in sweat. Then I have to lay there with no covers for a bit before curling back up to sleep for another two hours. My hips hurt so bad that I have to partially sit up in bed to switch sides. I think that I might be ill today - the freezing and sweating has continued all morning, even after getting up.
It's one thing for an old gal like me to have this, but it's really not fair for a girl your age.

The docs just seem to want to throw sleeping pills at us. I wish that they would be interested in getting to the real cause of our problems to give us some real relief instead of just drugging us.
Good luck today.
Hugs,
Marla

ritzbit
03-24-2011, 12:19 PM
I hope my teachers will understand when I come back. I haven't gone back yet. My doctor said not to until I'm sleeping better and can concentrate. I've made up my mind I'm going to go back on Monday. I'm going to work on some stuff over the weekend, especially english. We have done a lot in english since I was gone and I haven't done almost any of it. I still didnt sleep again last nigh. I wake up every 2 hours too lol at 3, 5, and 7 then I give up and get up. And I can never manage a nap. Always so tired.

My tests both came back normal today. So we're happy nothing is wrong with my heart but still don't know what caused my heart rate to start being so high.

magistramarla
03-24-2011, 12:30 PM
Hang in there, girl.
At least you now know that your heart is healthy. Next is the pulmonologist for the lungs, right? Keep pushing the docs to find out the real reason for all of this.
English class can be fun, and I've done a lot of subbing in it. PM me if I can help with any of it.
Hugs,
Marla

ritzbit
03-24-2011, 12:39 PM
Yes she wants to have them look at me because of the spots on the CT that they saw. She wants to make sure they're nothing to worry about. They still haven't called us to make the appointment yet. I plan to sometime today look through all my papers from the past 6 months. Thank you! We're reading the Heart of Darkness. I made it about 10 pages in and couldnt tell you what I read lol I was actually looking forward to reading it too.

magistramarla
03-24-2011, 12:43 PM
I haven't read that one, but feel free to bounce ideas off of me if you need to.

Saysusie
03-24-2011, 01:24 PM
Ritzbit: How are you today? Still unable to sleep or nap? I am glad to hear that there are no problems with your heart and I hope that you find that your lungs are healthy also. At the very least, find out what is causing the increased heart rate and start some type of treatment.
Please let us know when you do get an appointment with the Pulmonologist. Take Care of Yourself Sweetie.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

red246
03-27-2011, 10:10 PM
Hi sweetie! How are you doing? Have you managed to get any sleep? When my daughter's brainfog was at it's worst, she would take notes of whatever she was reading, yes it took longer to get through her work, but it did help. She still does this w/her college courses when she's having a hard time.
I think someone had suggested trying to see if you get a tutor to come to the house & be a home bound student. Have you tried that? You could maybe try even to have it set up so that when you feel up to it, you could go in for 1/2 days. Mia got sick beginning of her junior year and probably only spent a total of 1 semester in school during junior & senior year.
Remember, if you're having a hard time w/your teachers/counselors - they work for you. Your parents pay their salaries by paying their taxes. Don't be afraid to go above someone if they're not willing to help.
Okay, getting off my soapbox - can you tell we had a slightly hard time working through the system? LOL (((HUGS)))

ritzbit
03-28-2011, 12:38 PM
They are setting me up on some special plan that will make my teachers just make me do the important stuff because I've missed so much work and it'll be on a grading curve or something like that. I think Im going to fill out the home bound papers just in case. They said I can still come in when I can on home bound but then on days I miss it doesnt go in the computers as an absence.

I went in today and it wasn't that bad just a little overwhelming and it was hard to get back into a routine of sorts going through my day because I haven't been in so long. My teacher actually made me take a test on a book I told her I haven't even finished reading and didnt even know we had a test on today. She said she'd take into consideration that I hadn't finished the book. My mom said if I get a bad grade on it and she puts it in she's going to say something. I didnt answer half the questions....Other than that it wasn't actually too bad. Some people, like I knew they would, flat out pointed out the fact that my face was swollen. I know it was kind of their way of leading into questions of why I'd been gone, but they didnt really need to point out my fat face. Just really tired now and want to take a nap!