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View Full Version : Sometimes it's hard to stay positive



serand4
02-18-2011, 02:46 PM
Inevidibly, my chest cold is back. The positive me wants to stay focused on the fact that I had a great week last week and a lot of my hard work panned out. I got my medicaid and my mortgage modification came through far beyond any hope I ever had but right now, I can hear the faint whistle when I breathe and I coughed so much last night that I feel like someone has been throwing rocks at my chest for hours. In 30 minutes my son will arrive home and I'll have to tell him that, no, we aren't going to the movie store even though I promised because I'm simply too tired to even drive the car the 1/8th of a mile it takes to get there. Matter of fact, I'm simply too tired to do much of anything. I don't believe I'm getting enough oxygen into my blood and that must be what causes this crushing fatigue. Tomorrow my favorite nephew dog is visiting grandma and grandpa (we're a whole family of animal lovers) and I doubt I'll make it over. When my lungs start to fill up, it's usually a week before I can get the antibiotics to kick in and give me some relief. Hopefully I'll skip the monthly visit to the ER that goes with this whole, bothersome condition.

Yes, it's hard to stay positive. I get tired of apologizing for my limitations that I have no control over. It's frustrating when I'd like to call my bestfriend and gripe but I know I'll run out of air long before the conversation is over and frankly, why should she have to listen to my never-ending list of illnesses. I have a very strong belief in the Lord and I truly believe there is a purpose to all that takes place. Looking back on some of the illnesses that my son faced and where he's at now (he's doing wonderfully), I know you have to walk through the fire before you can splash through the ocean waves, but this seems like an awfully long stint in the hot coals!

I see my lung doctor in two weeks and I'm hoping he'll have some answers. For one thing, I truly believe I need to be on medication for Lupus. I think it would slow down this every-other-week lung infection. Also, there's no doubt that the minute I go under 20mg of prednisone, my lung function goes South. But I'm not the doctor, therefore, I have no say in my treatment. I see so many posts that are just like mine and I can mentally picture us all sitting in our livingrooms, on our computers, wishing we could reach out and give the much needed hugs that might get us through.

In the meantime, I will set up my breathing treatment, put on my determined face for when my son comes home and pray I get the strength to go out and pick up some cough medicine. Take care all and I will pray that your day is going far better than mine!

tgal
02-18-2011, 03:50 PM
"But I'm not the doctor, therefore, I have no say in my treatment."

Oh Serand, I have to correct you on this! The best thing I ever learned from the people on this site is that I have to be my best advocate and I hire these doctors and I can fire them as well! If the doctors are not allowing you some say so in your treatment then fire him/her and get a new one! You know your body better then they do and if they are too arrogant to listen to you then drop them like a hot potato and get another!

It is not doctor shopping to change doctors because one isn't doing their job or thinks that he/she knows everything. It is being a good consumer and we all have a right to do that!

Huggs

Saysusie
02-19-2011, 11:56 AM
Took the words right out of my mouth Tgal, I could not have said it any better!

Serand4: Tgal is absolutely right, you MUST be your own health advocate and insist that doctors treat your symptoms and are committed to your health as much as you are. If your doctor is not, then do exactly as Tgal suggested.."FIRE HIM!" and find one who is!

I wish you the very best
Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

Bonita
02-19-2011, 02:14 PM
i agree also you know your own body better than anyone else and just how sick you are sometimes you do not always get the support from your family either because they do not know the full extent of how bad things are with you i hope you find someone who will help you better. love bonita

serand4
02-20-2011, 04:21 PM
Thank you for your strength and you are absolutely right, it's time to find the RIGHT rheum dr. and since tomorrow is Monday, it's the perfect day to start looking! And it's not just my lungs, I have damaged my back and let it go for weeks with intense pain. I need to find a good pain dr. and get this under control. Quality of life is so important and looking at this post again clearly shows me that my depression is holding me back from improving my life.

Thank you again for giving me a clear perspective. I'll keep you posted on my progress because now I'm geared up to get busy!