View Full Version : physically and mentally exhausted

02-03-2011, 08:18 PM
hi everyone sorry have not talked much i am really unwell at the moment i have severe pain headaches, stomach problems, nausea , all my joints are are either swollen or locked up i am suffering from heat exhaustion, insomnia,and to top things off because my husband and i have power of attorney over our son because of his mental illness and alcohol and gambling addiction we have been told that i am his official carer and now have to manage all his money and his groceries and his doctors appointments and all his legal stuff the crisis accomodation he is in has no cooking facilities so now i have to prepare meals and take them to him make sure he is taking his meds and i will have to do the cooking until he is moved to another place until he is capable himself. we have been told by the courts that this is mandatory i am mentally washed out at the moment i am so depressed i am crying just writing this letter that is all i seem to do lately it just is not fair i just want to have some rest but this is not possible. thanks for listening to me and my own pity party i know you all must get sick of listening to my problems but you are the only ones i feel comfortable talking to. i tried to walk away from my son but the courts will not let me. i have had some bad flares but nothing like this since i spent 5 months in hospital before i joined this site after i found out i have lupus i am really worried i am heading for another severe episode i am so tired thankyou for being my friends hugs kim l

02-03-2011, 08:37 PM
I am so sorry things are not getting better for you Kim. I know you have so much on your plate but you know we are here to listen when you want to vent. I wish I could do more but vent away. Our ears and our arms are open for you

02-03-2011, 08:42 PM
Hi Kim,
We're all here for you when you need to vent.
Isn't there some way for someone with authority to realize that you are too ill to take responsibility for a grown man?
Perhaps you should go back to the hospital - you need the rest, and then maybe a plan B would be worked out for your son.
I wish we could help, but we're all here thinking about you.

02-04-2011, 03:29 AM
Hi Kim, So sorry you're going through such bad times right now, You're in my
thoughts and prayer's that things get better for you!
Sending Hug's your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Diane,

02-04-2011, 07:58 AM
(((hugs))) Is there anyone who can help you with the meals? Perhaps some inlaws or maybe your son has some friends? I have found when I am flaring (right now I think I have a mild one) that I have to cook things ahead of time. It used to be a breeze to cook a fresh meal 5 nights a week, but now I have to make things ahead of time so often and I have to do it in baby steps.

Angel Oliver
02-04-2011, 12:19 PM

You are going through some bad times right now and know we are all here for you.Sending you gentle hugs and im here to listen if i can help if only a little.

love n hugs

02-04-2011, 06:44 PM
Hey Kim,
Call the local hospital and ask them for their social services department. They may be able to help you get help with your son. You're too sick to take care of your son and if his facility doesn't even offer food or handle the meds, then he's not in the right place to fill his and your needs. I know how sick I get and if my son couldn't make his own burritos or popcorn, he would be one hungry kid! I can't move or function. In St. Louis we have a department for the mentally an'sd physically disabled and there are various branches that help with issues like your son's. There are group homes, too. I don't know who isn't letting you have a break, but I would find out who is one or two steps above them and go there. I even went on line and found out who the VP of the organization was and started calling her when I wasn't getting the results I needed when my son was mentally ill. I got fast and effective results. Whatever you do, don't let them forget how sick you are. Play that card firmly and often. God bless and we are all in your court!

02-04-2011, 11:32 PM
been to hospital been to social workers been to court house been to police this is the only crisis and group home here they can get him into we have seen mental health workers have booked him in for every appoinment power of attorney binding legal document until he is declared well i am his carer in the eyes of the law have control all money attend all appointments do groceries supply meals make sure he takes medication pay all his debts gave him4 dollars the other day to get on train and meet us half way because we were sick he went to pub bought small beer i assumed beer was more money as i do not drink myself but he found away then he jumped on train without ticket he could have been fined for this and we would of had to pay now i cannot give him any money and pick and drop him off as crisis care is 30 klms away stephen is sick and driving is something we do not do that often anymore and i am flaring now have spent all week doing things for him in searing heat wave so there is nothing else i can do but comply with courts. hope this explains i have tried everything hugs kim l

02-05-2011, 02:11 PM
Oh honey, I'm so sorry! I just can't believe you are literally trapped. I don't know what I would do in your place. Just know you're in my prayers. Do any of the people in a local support group have any suggestions? But then, there just doesn't seem to be anything fair about this disease on any level.

02-06-2011, 04:45 AM

hugs and prayers
vent away, we are all here for you. Like Mari I wish I was there to help you

02-06-2011, 06:31 AM

I am so sorry that you are still suffering so much, with your own illness and all the problems with your family.
There has to be way to get you help.
We are here for you.


02-06-2011, 04:03 PM
hi kim,

once again, your needs are not considered by the people making decisions about your life. I do not understand how the government can make life so hard on you, but they are doing it again.

i am here whenever you need to talk to someone. i will be sending you angels of strength.