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ritzbit
01-28-2011, 10:56 PM
Im so frustrated with everyone anymore. Im apparently lazy and do nothing and need a reality check because Im apparently an idiot who doesnt understand that because of college Im probably going to be in debt for the rest of my life. And because of that I should have a job right now even though I got really sick from the crappy job I had last year doing work on my feet all the time. Im not going to be able to find anything that would fit what I need especially right now when NO ONE can get a job. And on top of that I dont want the stress of work right now on top of trying to figure out how Im going to come up with enough scholarship money to pay for the college I really want to go to (that no one is supporting me on). I feel like Im trying to everything on my own all the sudden because apparently my whole 3 months of legally being an adult, even though I live at home and am still in my senior year, means I have to do everything with no help because this is "the real world". Im not stupid and understand that the money I will be taking out is alot but its what I need to do for what I want to do with my life. Im sorry for venting. Im just sick of people in my family who are not helping me emotionally or finacially trying to tell me how it is and how to run my life while at the same time telling me I need to figure everything out on my own. GRR

Oh and apparently just because Im sick doesnt mean that Im any different than my parents at their age. Because when they were 18 Im sure they felt like they were often stuck in an 80 year old womans body.

ashleybaby715
01-28-2011, 11:02 PM
:( i'm really sorry you have to deal with all of this ! trust me, there are many manyy scholarships that you can get. you have to talk people at your school in the office. or even google, as simple as that sounds. i was lucky enough to have my family to pay for my schooling and everything. you definetly don't need the extra stress, seeing as how stress can put us right into a flare.
they don't understand how bad lupus is i guess? nobody really understands unless you experience it though. but they should definetly try to make an effort to understand.
thats upsetting to me.
its sooo much different than the average 18 year old, thats forsure.

ritzbit
01-28-2011, 11:35 PM
Seriously its one thing to be a "typical lazy teen" but Im not. Im freaking tired all the time and probably sleep seriously 12-14 hours a day lately. I NEVER feel rested. And get really aggravated really easily. I just started a new medicine last week that gave me a seriously horrible headache for days and my family was picking fights with me over college. I have not had one bit of support. They dont want to help look into anything and one didnt go to college and one started to but quit and had it completely paid for by my grandma. So neither of them realize that I cant just afford anything, they are all expensive beyond belief when you have no money. So whats another 10 thousand for a better education then a crappy one thats closer to home (where I dont even want to be). Every opportunity I've had my parents refuse to take me to these schools I need to be visiting and I cant take myself because I still havent gotten a new car since my wreck in Nov. Im missing interviews with great schools to get scholarships because they dont want to "waste" gas money.

Im trying to hard to balance everything right now without letting everyone see how much I am freaking out. I need to have decisions made soon and cant make them without at least some money to back it up. I dont want to get myself sick again like I did last winter, my labs were all so good last month and Im finally getting my finger ulcers under control. I feel like Im doing so much and no one else sees it and keeps belittling everything I do. =(

hating_that_pred
01-28-2011, 11:45 PM
Ive always said people need to have Lupus to understand it. Ive verbally abused people for having a go at me for being lazy, or no good.

Nonna
01-29-2011, 04:20 AM
Hugs to the 3 of you. I have an observation to make; being 18 now, in this hard economtic time is very different than when your parents were 18 or even when I was 18 (a grandmother here). Things have changed. The valve of things has gone up. You can't get jobs at your age the way we could. Grades in school have become very important because you need college. So it really doesn't matter, whether you're sick or not. Parents feel the pressure of helping their kids. Other family members are just being ignorant. A good answer to them would be "would you like to help me, with thes trying economic times, it's very hard tofind a job for any one; will you help me, maybe you know someone .....". Try and turn it on them, hopefully that would shut them up.
Back when I was 18, they didn't talk about Lupus. I was considered to be a weak, lazy hypochondriac. You can probably. Imagine how I felt . You all feel that way now; but atleast you have each other here on WHL. And you have us old folk to tell you........... You will survive this period also. Just remember something....... It took me 11 years to finally get my college degree, I persevered.
You can do it. Maybe you can only take a course or 2 a semester, my only advice is to keep pushing. Education on the college level is now needed. It is equal to having a highschool diploma when I was 18.
Don't give up HOPE younglings
Nonna

ashleybaby715
01-29-2011, 01:22 PM
i'm so happy that my parents understand what i go through and understand how much different things are from when they were my age.
i think she understands most because shes is the one who pays the bill for school.
our tuition alone here at pitt (greensburg campus) is like 14,000 then you have room and board and meal plans to worry about. oh and books. you can't forget those. my books for this semeseter were about 700, easily. i recommend when it comes to purchasing books, do it online. its MUCH cheaper. trust me! we made the mistake of waiting too long , so i had to order from the bookstore here on campus.

even though i don't pay for any of my educational things, i understand how much everything is. i recommend looking for grants, that way you don't have to pay them back, unlike loans where you have to pay it back, along with interest.

magistramarla
01-29-2011, 04:48 PM
Hi Ritzbit,
I understand exactly what you are going through, even though I went through it 37 years ago. My mother wanted me to get some training and "get a real job", like beauty school, secretarial school, or something. She wanted me to stay around and support her. I was lucky enough to have teachers who encouraged me to apply for colleges and scholarships. My Latin teacher drove me to her college to visit and interview. I took a bus over to St. Louis Univ, where I eventually wound up going to school.
I would have been valedictorian, but I graduated a year early, and wound up as salutatorian. LOL - could you imagine the class salutatorian going to beauty school???
I managed to get a great scholarship and lots of grants, and got out of there, never to look back!
Can you find a teacher, counselor, or even an administrator who might help you to navigate the rest of this year? That is the job of the counselors, if they are doing it right.
They are also supposed to be able to arrange for college reps to come interview you at your high school if you can't afford a trip to the college - ask them!
Good luck, sweetie! We are all here supporting you. Keep trying for the school that feels like the best fit for you.
Lots of Hugs,
Marla

ritzbit
01-30-2011, 01:44 PM
Im trying to stay in state because the state gives you so much money each year for your grades and such. But there are only 2 schools I like in state. And they are each about 35,000...I dont have any money and so far have only gotten about half of what I need to pay for it all. And the school I really want to go to is 4 hours away, and out of state, but takes my in state money. And I got some scholarship money from them,and could get more but no one will take me. I want to go to a school Im actually going to get something out of not one that I can just "afford". Just because its cheaper doesnt mean I should go there, right? Everyones like a degree is a degree, but I dont just want a degree I want to know what it is Im there to learn you know what I mean?

@hating_that_pred- I do the same thing ALL THE TIME. Then feel bad for it. I have a short fuse lately.

magistramarla
01-31-2011, 11:52 AM
Yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean!!
I was "encouraged" to go to the local state college, because it was cheap and close to home. The thing was, I had older friends who had barely made it through
HS with my tutoring, who were earning degrees there. I wanted a degree from a school that had a "better" reputation, so that I could earn a degree that I
could be proud of. St. Louis University was that school for me, and they came through with lots of financial aid.
Have you tried talking to an admissions counselor from your dream school? They might be willing to help if they know that you are serious about their school.
I'm here cheering for you, sweetie.
Hugs,
Marla

Bench
01-31-2011, 02:29 PM
I'm sorry to hear that.. you must feel very alone. 18 is a hard age to be without the added frustration and stress of Lupus.. I pray you find comfort and a solution- I will keep you in my prayers!

ritzbit
01-31-2011, 06:38 PM
I've been trying to work with these admissions counselors and they are just ridiculous. I am so frustrated because they will not give the 3000-6000 now because I missed the scholarship day because we were under a snow emergency that you could get pulled over for driving during. They lowered the amount to 500-1100. What a joke! Ive had a HUGE heachache all day because of college and scholarships and money. I need to win the lottery lol

Bench
02-05-2011, 02:27 AM
aw thats horrible!!!
its easy for me to say try not to stress, but it's your future soooo.... heres my advice:
buy your fav candy, chocolate, chips, icecream whatever!! and watch a reallllly good movie curled up in the softest comforter you own :) haha works for me- or workout and get those feel good endorphins flowing!

Keep coming here and let it alllll out though.. I'll try to cheer u up! I hope things get better really soon