View Full Version : I'm losing my mind
11-25-2010, 07:44 PM
Out of sheer embarassment, I will keep this short. Guys, my brain is totally short circuiting! I am making incorrect statements and calculations of epic proportions! I was with my family today (and a very nice day it was!) and my brain would stop mid-sentence with no where to go. I'm even getting a little nervous to drive. There is NO trying to drive while adjusting the radio. Come on, we all can do that! I'm trying to post here or somewhere just to work on my typing and spelling because I have made some hilarious, sad, pathetic mistakes which are inexcusable for someone with a degree in Journalism (all A's by the way). Anyway, I know there is Lupus fog and I also have Fibro fog but nothing like this. Even my mom tried to reassure me by explaining that at least I started out really smart so I'll just be smart now. God bless her, I'll take what I can get.
Okay guys, come together. Tell me there are meds for this or that you had this and it passed. I'll take any input you have. This is even more distressing than the back spasms and occasional dizziness.
11-25-2010, 07:54 PM
Well, I don't know about meds, but I'm telling you I've done the same thing. I've gone to visit my best friend (1/4 mile away) and forgotten how to get home!! That is really scary, I couldn't recognize the streets and the names were totally unfamiliar. I've forgotten what I was talking about in mid sentence and it, to this day, has not come back to me. I've gotten up, gotten dressed, got my car keys, walked out of the door and totally forgotten where I was going. I've found my keys in the freezer and melted ice cream in my car!!
I could go on, but I am sure that you get the picture which, essentially, is one in which you are not alone. My husband purchased a GPS for my car so that, no matter where I am, I push "home" so that I can remember how to get there! I write down "to do" list and add to it as soon as an idea pops into my head (if I wait, it will be gone forever). I put every single thing that I must do in my phone's calendar so that it beeps at me when it is time to do something, go somewhere, or even EAT!! (yes, I have to remind myself to eat).
So, please do not think that you are alone or that there is something unusually wrong with you..neither statement is true and we all have been where you are and we all understand!!
Peace and Blessings
11-25-2010, 10:18 PM
I'll second what Saysusie said.
I was teaching Latin, and would teach the kids a list of new vocabulary words. Minutes later, I would be saying something, and I couldn't remember a vocabulary word. I would pause to think, the kids would think that I was playing a game with them to get them to fill in the vocab. word, and they would shout it out. I rolled with this "game" and my students got really good at finishing my sentences for me. My hubby is very good at it, too.
Like you, I was a strong student and have always had a sharp mind and good memory. Now, not so much. I try to have a sense of humor about it, though:
Old Man - The older I get, the more I think about the hereafter.
His friend - Are you worried that you're going to die?
Old Man - No, every time I walk into a room, I have to stop and think "Now, what am I here after?"
Sometimes, we just have to laugh at ourselves!
11-25-2010, 10:41 PM
I'll third it! I could have written either of their posts! I love your mother's way of looking at it. I don't know of any meds that help, all I've gotten from my docs is shrugged shoulders. I can tell you that when I'm doing good it's not that bad - almost non-existent. But it is one of my first indications that a flare is coming on. I'll start messing up what I'm saying and everyone just looks at me weird. I agree it is one of the most frustrating aspects of this for me. I used to have a head for numbers, but not anymore. GPS is a great idea! Lists are good, unless you're like me and forget the stupid list! ;) If you do a search for Brain Fog, I'm sure you will come up w/many posts on the subject - some humorous, some sad, but all very true and familiar.
It is funny that this topic came up tonight because I debated starting one because of something that happened tonight. I also could have written any of the above posts and tonight something new happened.
Actually I am not allowed to drive anymore but I tried a few times (on good days) and found out that I couldn't drive anywhere I didn't know because I can't find my way home. As Susie said, nothing looked familiar and it scared me to death. Not only do I lose my thoughts and words mid sentence sometimes I find the wrong word completely. One day I was trying to tell me niece about the clothes hamper and the only word I could say was car. I KNEW it was a car but my mouth could only say car. I couldn't find the right word. Living with me is often like playing charades.
When I begin to feel bad I often find talking to take way too much effort because it is no longer automatic like it was before. I have to really think about words and sentences and it is so tiring. Tonight it went a step further. It was almost like there was a disconnect from my brain and my mouth. For a moment I worried because I literally couldn't talk and then I realized that I could still text or type. It was slow and I was tired but it is how I communicated with my daughter most of the night. After about 2 hours my voice "began to work" for lack of a better term. Not to hold full conversations but at least a word or two. I went to sleep for a couple of hours (just woke up) and I am still kind of in that same place. I can type everything I am thinking but it still feels like my voice is asleep. I wonder if this is an extension of the "loss of words and ideas" that I have so often. Maybe I just over did it the last few days and I will wake up tomorrow and be back to my new "normal". Any ideas?
Have I mentioned that I am really tired of all of this?
11-26-2010, 12:16 AM
Thank you to all! I've read enough over the past few months to know this is one thing we hold in common and desperately wish we didn't. Such an unfair disease! But again, thank you so much for the understanding you offer!
11-26-2010, 12:13 PM
I know this is a long post, and I'm sorry, but know that you definitly are NOT alone.
Some of mine were posted on Rob's "you have brainfog when.." post, but here are more. All of them true, unfortunatly.
six years ago, I was a freshman in High School and I tried to walk to my school and doubted the direction after a few minutes. I tried to walk passed the house on the way back (My friend had to bring her cat back home as it tried to follow us to school. Also, all I had to do was keep walking strait and I would have been at school in no time). I'm 19 and already need a list (wednsday was pretty good. I actually remembered what was on the 5 item list lol), generally have bad sense of direction, put an item in a 'safe place' and within a minute or so, forgot where that so called 'safe place' is. Problem being, it's usually the same place everytime, and most likely VERY visible. I've gotten used to raising my hand and sitting there like an idiot when I'm finally called on. I've also called teachers grandma and mom, the girl that comes by sometimes Binh (who lives with me) and the other way around, called my mom dad, and my dad mom (now they joke about gender changes), etc. the list goes on. Lately it has been getting better.
Reading tgal's post reminded me of what I did about a week ago. My mom and I were talking about cooking and the diffence in yeast level depending on heat and time. My mom looks at me and asks, "do you know what yeast is?" the problem was my serious response. My response was "of course. It's an infection". oh, and Wednsday I smacked my mom's had away from the microwave and said "my cerial is in there". She opened the door and inside was her coffee. I frantically search around where I was standing looking for my breakfast for a few seconds before both my mom and friend tell me where it is. Turns out my 'cerial' which had actually been pop tarts, were in the toaster.
I've already forgotten who said their doctor shrugs. I get smiles and laughs.
I've never thought of using brainfog as an indicator of a flare (I had a pretty good memory on wednsday before my flares for the past two days. Maybe I'm the opposite). I'll try that next time...If I remember. lol
11-26-2010, 07:14 PM
yes a i agree it usually take me about 4 attempts to write as i get the spelling wrong or my hands won,t work or when i am talking i cannot get the words out i have to write everything down now or i forget i make drinks and forget to drink them i forget names and faces and phone numbers which i never did before i even forget sometimes to go to toilet we all suffer these problems you are not alone and we are here for you hugs kim l
11-26-2010, 07:49 PM
You know guys, sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's not. We want so much to be good natured but if you're like me, right now it's more a matter of wanting to cry. My absentmindedness really only started to get bad a month ago. Yes, over the past couple of years I've grown a little dim, but when you have to hold on to a wall because you can't concentrate on standing and speaking at the same time, it can be termed a little sad. Oh well, my glass will be half full tomorrow -- or missing. Who knows?
11-27-2010, 02:32 AM
If it's missing, I'll be washing it for you to refill another day. lol
11-28-2010, 07:20 PM
I love this!!! We should have t-shirts made!
11-28-2010, 09:36 PM
I love this!!! We should have t-shirts made!
That's a great idea!!!
11-29-2010, 07:57 AM
I feel like I am losing my mind too. I kinda wish I had one of those dohickies that you press the button when you loose your car keys and it beeps at you until you find it. I need that for my brain.