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tgal
11-19-2010, 10:49 AM
Removed and thought better of posting

sue27
11-19-2010, 02:16 PM
Hi tgal, I do irritated very well, So I'm sure it wasnt that bad. Irtitated that my life is no longer mine, irritated that the housework is not done. so if its any help i know irritation very well. Hes often my best friend some days.

Love and hugs to you

Sue

rob
11-19-2010, 02:34 PM
Removed and thought better of posting


You remind me, of me! I do this also. Get pissed off, type out an epic rant, then feel better and decide not to post it!

serand4
11-19-2010, 05:29 PM
Tgal - I don't think there's a person out there that wouldn't be willing to listen to anything you have to say! Frankly, now I'm just curious as to what it was about!

magistramarla
11-19-2010, 07:45 PM
I'm curious, too.
I've had my share of irritations this week, too. Most of mine have involved supposedly grown-up kids who won't stop calling me at the worst times, so mine are not really bad irritations, just aggravating.
I hope that you have a lovely weekend, Tgal.
Hugs,
Marla

tgal
11-19-2010, 09:14 PM
Tgal - I don't think there's a person out there that wouldn't be willing to listen to anything you have to say! Frankly, now I'm just curious as to what it was about!

LOL It really wasn't anything. I have an appointment with a doctor on Monday that was set up by the SS/Disability people. I found out that this isn't another neuro psych test it is a Mental Health Exam. They want to know if I am really sick or if I am simply crazy. I figured it out this morning and I went off! I had a novel disguised as a post and once I hit "post reply" and closed out I knew I sounded like a baby. I came back to delete it and couldn't figure out how so I did what you see above.

magistramarla
11-19-2010, 09:16 PM
Don't you just love how they think we're crazy?

kim,l
11-19-2010, 10:08 PM
don,t worry tgal will all be crazy together since we all have had one doctor or another tell us we need mental health hugs hang in there kim l

sue27
11-20-2010, 01:15 AM
Hi tgal. I'm sorry that you have so many problems gettting the support that you need from your doctors and any financial help. Dont these people realise that stress makes lupus flare up. When i 1st became unwell i did think i was going crazy as i was so forgetful. I was even convinced that my GP would think i was. In England we have to prove that we are unwell and we too have to go for a medical i have mine on the 29th of this month. Dont see why as my partner supports me, just have to prove i'm not fit for work, so in a sense there wasting the money on me. I hope all goes well and that they will finally see your not mad (Well only mad from the way you are being treated) and that you are unwell not making it up for the hell of it, lets face it if they had to live just one day of our lives they would see how bad it is. And lets face it if your crazy that means theres alot of crazy people out there and most of us are on here with you.

From one crazy lupus suffer to another

Love and hugs

Sue xx

serand4
11-20-2010, 11:30 AM
Honestly! I have had a couple of those wonder moments where the doctors wonder if I'm crazy. Sorry - brutal honesty here: If I were crazy could I still function at the level I do with all of these DOCUMENTED medical ailments. Would my child get fed and bills get paid (at least the ones I can pay), would I manage to get in the shower, would I be able to schedule and attend my 6,000 medical appointments each month? And let's throw in the fatigue, pain, IBS, meds, and general nonsense of life on top of it all and still simply be crazy? Crazy I have time for. If simply being crazy got me disability, well, toussel my hair, dirty up my clothes and I'll start wearing aluminum foil on my head! I had one woman doctor be so condescending and "gently" steer me to pyschs upstairs that she's lucky she still has one blond hair left on her head! In my first round with disability, I had a psych state that I asked him for Vicodin! That's impossible! Psych's don't give Vicodin. My son is bipolar and I've dealt with psychs, this one in particular, for 6 years. Why on God's green acre would I ask him for narcotics? Must have been crazy at the moment! So Tgal, you have all of our support. Just because we don't make their jobs easy, it doesn't qualify us as crazy. It qualifies them as LAZY! So there!

tgal
11-22-2010, 03:53 PM
Doctor Update: Well I went to take the "mental health exam" today and it appears that I got upset over nothing. The majority of it was more neuropsych stuff. Remember these words... remember these faces.... What were those words? Needless to say I sucked at it. We did discuss my depression and I did firmly admit to it. She asked when I became depressed, if it had gotten worse and what made it get worse. When I told her that it has gotten worse the longer that I have been ill and it continues to get worse the longer we try to live on $300 a month she almost fell out of her seat! She said "How do you live on $300 a month". I said "it is hard". She said "No, I mean literally. How do you do it?". So I began to list off all the things that have been lost because we couldn't pay them. The depression part of the appointment ended shortly after that and we moved on to check to see how my memory was working :)

Good news is that she said the SS/Dis people would have their paperwork within a week. I won't let myself get excited but it would be really nice if I could start receiving money and be insured again in Dec. I will be out of medicine the first part of Dec and I won't be able to pay for more. Keep your fingers crossed!

magistramarla
11-22-2010, 08:33 PM
Tgal,
Good! It sounds like you were brutally honest, so it seems to have sunk in for her. I'm hoping that you will get some help soon.
Doesn't your child qualify for Medicaid, free breakfast and lunch at school, and all of the other aid to dependent children that kids are supposed to get?
I know that Perry in his infinite wisdom wants to get rid of Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security in Texas, but he hasn't succeeded just yet.
It seems to me that the two of you should be getting more help than $300 a month. That is what my mother and I lived on back in the '60s, and we got food stamps and Medicaid.
I don't know how you do it in today's economy.
Keep pushing for some help, kid. Oh, and can you get some food for Thanksgiving from a food bank, or is there a public meal served in Houston like the one in SA?
You should consider looking into something like that.
Take care and Happy Thanksgiving!
Hugs,
Marla

tgal
11-22-2010, 09:44 PM
Funny you mention the food stamps. I was one of those upity people that never thought that "I" would be on food stamps. When my work stops my disability checks and all I had left was the $300 child support I refused to apply for food stamps. I finally decided I would apply and only use them if I had to. I sat with the card for two weeks while we ate rice and (fill in the blank) before finally giving in and using it. It was such a hard thing to do. I had always prided myself on how I took care of my daughter with no help from anyone and here I was now having to ask for help from the government! Funny how life teaches you lessons.

As for our Gov... yes, I heard about his wonderful idea. Hopefully I can get in before that happens!

Saysusie
11-22-2010, 10:41 PM
I hope that you are able to get your DIB and your medications in December. As for the Food Stamps, the entire program was designed specifically for people like you: those who have been productive members of society but who now find themselves in need of assistance until they can, again, be self sufficient.
There is no shame in this at all. Circumstances beyond your control have placed you in a position where assistance is needed. Therefore, you are more qualified to receive such assistance than many who currently receive them. Please do not feel that you have declined in your ability to provide the necessities for your family. You have not done this at all and the assistance is rightfully yours.
I am sending you warm hugs of understanding and I hope that things do turn around for you quickly.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

magistramarla
11-22-2010, 11:16 PM
Tgal,
It's certainly no disgrace to accept some aid when you need it. As SySusie said, that's what it's there for - a safety net.
I often had students who refused to try in school and would tell me "I can't go to college, we're on food stamps". That would really bug me, and I would tell them to just look at me - I grew up using them. This shocked them, since they considered me to be a rich old lady. I explained to them that it was my determination to NOT continue to need them that spurred me to get a great education. I hope that I influenced some of them to re-think their attitudes.
So, get the help that you need and explain to your daughter that this is the safety net that you need right now to keep her healthy and learning. Also, point out to her how important her own education will be for her to make her own future bright. I'm sure that she will understand what you're doing for her.
AND - Take care of yourself!
(I wish I was there - you two would be having Thanksgiving with us!)
Hugs,
Marla

tgal
11-23-2010, 06:25 AM
Aww thanks to both of you I needed that. I think that is the one really big issue with me mentally is that I feel like I am failing as a mom. I know better because I have a WONDERFUL daughter. She is a sophomore in high school, in all advanced classes, excellent grades (colleges already writing daily), lettered her freshman year in high school even when we were going through all of this!

I can handle anything as long as I know my daughter does not suffer because of me.

SandyR
11-23-2010, 07:51 AM
Aww thanks to both of you I needed that. I think that is the one really big issue with me mentally is that I feel like I am failing as a mom. I know better because I have a WONDERFUL daughter. She is a sophomore in high school, in all advanced classes, excellent grades (colleges already writing daily), lettered her freshman year in high school even when we were going through all of this!

I can handle anything as long as I know my daughter does not suffer because of me.

I grew up with a single mom who stretched the way you do. Honestly, if we were on food stamps I didn't know but I wouldn't be surprised. Let's just say I never knew milk wasn't supposed to be powdered until I was in my early teens and boy was that a shock! You are doing a great job with your daughter and I am sure she is well aware of how much you are scrimping, saving and sacrificing for her health and happiness. I don't know about the area where you live, but maybe there is a program like there is here where you can go to your local church or synagogue and once a month they give you a big bag of groceries to help you make your dollars stretch farther. Then your food stamps will stretch a little further too.